Gods and Monsters
by darkNnerdy
Summary: Sequel to Dark Paradise: Edward has his very own Happily Ever After planned for Isabella. EDITED and reposted to meet TOS. Rated M for Mature.
1. Chapter 1

_**Thank you, Ham and LivieLiv! **_

_**SM OWNS TWILIGHT. This plot is mine. **_

**Chapter One **

I sit with my back against the corner of the table, and watch her. Her chest is barely moving and her legs shake. She's losing too much blood, but I can't bring myself to move her.

I watched the light leave her eyes, her finger slipping off the trigger. She'd do it, it was all I needed. The proof, knowing I was enough, that I was the reason.

I've pried the gun out of her hand. Her fragile skin is pale and cold against my own. She was seconds away from ending it. From ending us. Me.

She's bleeding out. Her stomach is covered and soaked. But I can't stop myself from running my fingers through it, drawing designs in the blood for her. Hoping she feels me with her.

Jasper's on the floor. His blue eyes are open wide and I can't help but smile at him. I know he saw it when he opened the door. There is _no way_ he didn't recognize her. That smile, those dark brown eyes.

She's a drug. _My _drug. An addiction you can't give up.

Isabella was his once. Only for a moment, but I know he never forgot her.

That face, those lips.

She's absolutely breathtaking when she smiles. Her eyes crinkle and her nose scrunches. She makes the pain go away. She makes things seem simpler.

She gives me a peace that seems forever lost to you.

And even though his dead fingers clutched at it once, I'd won. The heart thumping in her chest, beating a slow melodic tune was only meant for one person: me. She is mine. She was always mine.

"Edward!" Carlisle all but breaks down the door. His grey eyes have tears in them and he's shaking when his gaze lands on the floor, in my lap. "Is she..."

"She's alive." I move to sit up and she whimpers. "I need you to fix her."

The scalpel is still stuck in my skin, a throbbing pain reminding me how close she came to puncturing my heart. If she wasn't lying in a pool of her own blood, I'd hug her to my chest.

It was about damn time she got angry. Showed me the woman behind the mask that I knew lurked there.

"Her wounds aren't deep, but she's lost blood." I lift my hands, both covered in her blood and dripping to the floor.

"Jesus, Edward, she could die." He takes a quick step toward us and stops.

"She will die if you don't stop staring." He will too if she does.

His eyes move to mine, and I know he sees it. I'll kill him over her. I'd kill his wife, his sister. I'd kill anyone that touched her. That hurt her. Looked at her wrong. Looked like her.

He moves her quickly to the table, allowing me to stand. I push Jasper with my boot.

"I gotta do something about this one."

Carlisle barely looks down at Jasper as I stand above the body. He's always been in my way. If I had known being in Isabella's path was the way to truly dispose of him, I would have planned this years ago.

Instead, I have a body to remove and not a lot of time to do it.

"Did you do that?"

"Would you believe it was her? All it took was Jasper not wanting to help me." I laugh, the feeling of pride over my girl's actions filling me as I step over Jasper.

"There's a kit under the table." I wave my hand as Carlisle begins cleaning her wound. The more he touches her, the harder my fists begin to clench, and I have to look away.

I know he _needs _to do this. That he'll save her. But it doesn't stomp the craving to snap his neck.

"You need to remove that." Carlisle is looking at the scalpel sticking out of my chest as he fumbles with my bag.

"Not now." I reach in my pants and pull out a cigarette. "I just need coffee."

"No, I need your help. You have no anesthesia and this will wake her up. You're going to have to hold her arms down so I can work."

Fuck. I light my cigarette that's covered in her blood, and stare at the smoke as it trails over her body.

"Prep her while I smoke." I know he's pissed, but he knows better than to think I don't care about her. I just need a minute.

"Talk to me, Edward."

"She came to see me," I mutter, shaking my head. "Why the fuck would she do that?"

"Damn it." He's shaking his head as he pulls the lamp closer to her stomach.

"Yeah." I inhale, enjoying the burn as the smoke lashes at my throat. "She'd been to the jail so many times, but she would never talk to me."

She would come to see me, only to have Charlie or one of his pining lackeys talk her out of it. I always wondered what went through her mind when she signed her name on my book.

"You were supposed to leave her alone, Edward." He turns to me, and I can see the doctor and father fighting one another.

One side of him wants to protect her, protect me. Protect us from one another.

The other wants me happy.

I want both to fuck off, to keep out of my business like he promised.

"I DID!" The saw I was playing with earlier slams into the wall across from us.

"I know you love her. But it's not the right kind of love, it's not how you're supposed to love her. You left to protect her, Edward. Why the hell would you go back there?"

"I can't stay away from her. I'm like some fucked up junkie with her. She has this fucking power over me, Carlisle." I laugh, my cigarette hanging out of my mouth. "The worst part? She has no fucking clue." If she did, I'd be in trouble.

"You have to let her go this time. I can take her with me to the hospital, get her proper treatment. But you need to go, leave this place for good." I know he thinks he knows best, that he could help her, but he's wrong.

"No. No I can't do that." I press my fingers around the wound she gave me, watching as blood trails down my chest and over my tattoo. Her tattoo.

"You can. You just don't want to."

Exactly.

"You couldn't have brought me some coffee, could you?" I rub my palms over my eyes, wishing he would hurry the fuck up.

"Your wife is dying on this table and that's all you can think about?" He's angry and I don't blame him.

I shrug. Of course she's on my fucking mind, but so is coffee.

I wake up to Isabella. I taste her on my tongue when she isn't there and I hear her when she doesn't speak. She's always... _always_ fucking with me. She's never not there. She's the voice in my head telling me I'm better than this.

The one that fights me on every decision.

She's kissing me. Loving me. Hating me.

She's always with me. Always.

I grab the alcohol I keep hidden here and pour it over my chest, hoping to kill any infection and distract me. "Mother fucker!" I pull hard, watching as the metal lands on the floor at my feet.

"Do you just enjoy the pain?"

I cut my eyes at him, the anger burning in them, quieting him as he turns back to Isabella.

"Put the cigarette out and come help me before she dies."

"Kill her and I'll kill you." I stomp the lit end in the concrete. Taking a deep pull from the bottle I move closer to help.

"Alright. I need you to just watch her. Keep your eyes on her because she will scream and this will hurt her." I lock eyes with him, reminding myself that he's helping, that if I kill him she might not survive.

I lace my fingers with Isabella's, pulling them over her head and I kiss her cold lips. "I got this."

"I just need you to focus on her and not on me. Remember I'm helping her, okay?"

I know he's worried I'll snap. I probably will. "Any day now."

He takes a deep breath and nods at me before he picking up the needle. I watch her eyes fly open, tears already spilling as she looks around the room. She's scared and screaming, her voice breaking as her fingers tighten in mine.

"I got you, baby." I lay my cheek against her, kissing her, breathing into her ear, promising I'll take care of her and letting her screams pierce my soul.

"Just keep her still."

I want to push him off her as her tears stains my cheeks. But I hold her down, knowing she could hurt herself. "Just listen to my voice. We're going to be together, you and me," I tell her, listening as her cries turn to a silent sob. "Carlisle's gotta fix you first. Then it's just us. Just like we planned."

I know Carlisle's in the background somewhere, trying his best to soothe her. I know he'll do whatever he can to help her, to keep her safe.

He's more worried about her than the child he raised. I can't hate him for it.

Especially right now.

"You're almost done," I tell her, hoping like hell it helps. With every tear I can feel another crack in my icy heart. It makes my instinct to punish grow.

By the time Carlisle is done stitching up her insides, my fingers are wrapped so tightly in hers they burn.

I'm not even sure if it's her, me, or both of us wanting to hurt the other.

**REPOST to meet TOS **

**XOXO Darknnerdy **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you, Ham and LivieLiv!**

_**SM OWNS TWILIGHT. **_

**GODS AND MONSTERS **

My frustration and impatience grows with every bump in the road.

Carlisle's been driving for hours now, both hands on the wheel, eyes on the road. He's upset with me, and thinks he's punishing me by not speaking.

Isabella's monitors are humming in the background, and I can't stop the glances. She's stitched up, bandaged, and breathing on her own, yet Carlisle is convinced she could still die.

"Do you think she'll hate me?" I brush a stray hair off her face as I watch her. The color in her once too pale cheeks is starting to return, and she's stopped sweating.

"For this?" He asks, his eyes meeting mine in the mirror for the first time all night.

"For everything." Raking a tired hand through my hair, I pull at the ends, and close my eyes.

I'm exhausted from the drive and from the night before. My original plan was Italy. A safe place to go with Isabella, without the trouble of her father following us.

Carlisle has other ideas. He's convinced we'll be better off at his old friend Garrett's place in Mexico. We wouldn't want for anything, and he has ties with too many important people for us to worry about being caught.

I know his idea is good, solid, but I'm still pissed.

"She killed a man for you. After all you did to her in that room, she killed him and then tried to kill herself to be with you in the end. You, Edward." His laugh is bitter, as he watches me.

"You really think I would have let her do that?" I scoff. He knows I'd never really hurt her like that. Not to the point of never being able to see her again.

"She didn't know that. She had no idea you were just testing her."

"She knows how manipulative I can be." I look down at her. She's always known.

"Does she? Does she know you're a selfish child?" My eyes snap to his, anger throbbing inside me.

"Watch yourself, Carlisle." My hands twitch and my heart thumps louder in my ears as I watch him. "I'd hate for you to wake up on my table."

"I've never pegged you as a liar, Edward." There is a hint of a smile on my father's lips, one that I'd like more than nothing to remove with a blade.

"You never pegged me for a killer either." I shrug, smiling when his eyes narrow.

"What would you have done if you didn't make it time?"

"In time for what?" I ask, knowing damn well what he's talking about. I just want him to say it, knowing just how much he cares for the daughter he's always wanted.

"Pulling that trigger and ending all this." I almost wish she had.

"I would have put that gun in my mouth and kissed it goodbye." I'd thought about it. Felt the barrel in my mouth. When I first left her, it was her voice I heard. Begging me. Taunting me. She wanted the bullet in my brain. Told me I deserved it, that I had failed her, failed us.

It was also her voice that stopped me. Her face. When I closed my eyes I saw her sleeping next to me, hands on my chest, a smile on her lips. Her kissing me in the shower as she ran a razor over my face, shaving the stubble she hated.

It was her hands that begged me as they slowly ran over my body under our sheets. Her lips whispering her love. Her eyes searching mine when I proposed to her.

She pushed as much as I did. In the end it was need that won. Her need for me and mine for her.

Carlisle sighs in the front seat, his eyes returning to the road, and snapping me out of my thoughts. "She's going to want answers if she wakes up."

"When. When she wakes up." I lace my fingers in hers, taking a moment to look her over.

"You need to face reality. There's a chance..."

"There is also a chance I could break your neck before you ever turned in your seat. Now drive and shut the fuck up." I snap at him, his voice already grating on my nerves.

The rest of the ride is quiet as I focus on her. Before we left, Carlisle hooked up IV's with fluids and drugs to help her sleep. I got to see her brown eyes staring at me for less than a minute before she passed out from the pain.

Once she was out, stitched and recovering, we went to work on the room and taking care of Jasper.

Carlisle made calls, while I sat and watched her.

I told her once, that she would never escape me, that I would never survive without her. I meant every word.

I might have left her once, but it was only to protect her. To arrange things for us.

She should be grateful I only now decided to drag her into this. She should be happy that the evidence wasn't enough to keep me. That the blood tests came back negative.

She should thank Carlisle and Jasper, too. Afterall, in the court's eyes, it was Jasper's blood found at the scene. It was Carlisle who made certain of it, cleaning and covering things up for us.

He can whine all he wants, but in the end, he wants us free.

"How much longer, Carlisle?" I look at the dash for the time. The only things I know are Garrett is our best option and Isabella will be protected there. That's enough for me.

"We should be there any minute." He glances quickly in the mirror at Isabella. "How are her stats?"

"She's fine." I light up a smoke and roll the window down.

Garrett's the one who got us into Mexico, and I've been informed if we want back out he can't guarantee it.

We won't.

"We're here." Carlisle slows the car, before stopping at the entrance of a gate. "He's being very generous, Edward try not to..."

"To what?" I laugh.

"Be yourself." He turns and begins typing a code into the box and the gate opens wide.

I look around and tossing out my cigarette. I wonder why a doctor would need so much security.

Garrett meets us as we pull up to his house. I watch as he and Carlisle shake hands and talk. My fingers are tracing lines on Isabella's leg as I wait for them. The feel of her bare skin against mine calming me.

"You're going to enjoy it here, baby." I tell her, smiling as her eyes flutter.

"This is my son and his wife Isabella." I nod as Carlisle opens the back of the SUV.

"I have a nurse on the grounds, along with staff. Anything you need," Garrett says as his eyes linger on her.

"How about eyes to your fucking self?" I snap, my fingers digging into her skin.

"Edward!"

"It's fine, Carlisle. That's his wife. I don't blame him at all." He offers me a smile, and I think I could carve it like a clowns. "I was just looking at her wounds."

"If you touch her, if I so much as see you lay a single finger on her..."

"He's upset about his wife." Carlisle interrupts, making me chuckle. The man should know what he's getting himself into with me here.

"And he's a liar." I'm upset about her, sure, but I won't put up with anyone thinking they can touch her. Doctor or not.

"I know all about you Edward." There is no judgement in his eyes when they land on me, respect maybe.

"Good. We shouldn't have any problems then?" I ask, watching as he moves from us.

"Not a single one." We nod at each other and I turn to Carlisle as Garrett waves over some of his staff.

"Lover?" I tease as Carlisle get's back into the car, driving us around Garrett's house.

"I helped him when no one else would, Edward." He doesn't bother looking at me. Instead, he steps out of the SUV, closing the door and the conversation behind him.

We get settled in quickly. Garrett offered us a villa at the back of his property, and a promise we won't be disturbed. In return for the keys, I promise not to destroy his property.

He leaves us alone after I've given him a list of things we'll need.

"I'm going to wean her off the medication. She should be waking soon," Carlisle tells me. He's been hooking up her IV bags and making sure she's comfortable.

I lay on the floor, cigarette in my mouth, coffee in my hand.

I glance over at Carlisle, rage building inside of me as his hand grazes hers. I force myself to look away, telling myself he knows better. Instead, I close my eyes remembering the color of her blood on my skin, her scared brown eyes turning angry, the way her mouth looked when she screamed.

I remember the sad look in Jasper's eyes as she pointed the gun at him. The way he looked at me, knowing good and damn well I would just sit there, unmoving to see what she would do.

He never should have trusted me.

When she pulled the trigger I didn't even flinch.

I let the picture behind my eyes fade as Isabella's whimpers reach my ears.

"She's going to be angry," Carlisle's inner father comes out as he sets the IV bag aside.

"When is she not angry?" I'd really love the answer to that one.

"Kid gloves with her, Edward. She's been through too much." Carlisle warns as I swallow the last of the coffee and move to the bed.

I smile to myself as I feel the pull to her inside of me. I've never wanted someone as much as I want Isabella. Need her. Every time I think about her, see her, it's like something snapping inside of me. Something telling me she's mine to take. To consume.

I touch her. Legs, hips, stomach. My hands growing greedy as I move up her body.

"Edward," he warns me, but I can't help myself.

I can feel the devilish smile on my lips as I turn to him. My hands on the pillow beside her face.

I want my eyes to be what she see's when she opens hers. I want her to know that I'm here. That she's mine and I'm hers. I want her scared and angry.

I want her fear. Her love.

She's mine and when she opens her beautiful brown eyes I want her to see that. To see the need, to reflect it back at me.

I lean in close, ignoring Carlisle's protest. My lips on her ear, breathing her in.

"Wake up, Isabella. I'm not through with you yet." I hear her gasp, and chuckle as I lift up, watching her eyes go wide.

"Edward?" Her lips barely move, but I hear her.

"Did you miss me?"

**REPOSTED TO ME TOS. **

**XOXO Nerdy**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you, Ham and LivieLiv!**

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT. **

**GODS AND MONSTERS **

"I told you not to wake her up like that!" Carlisle's treating the cut above my eye. I swat him away when he dabs it with alcohol. I wince from the sting as Isabella fumes on the bed.

"I thought you died!" She's bleeding through her bandage. I want to tell her to calm the fuck down, but I'm too turned on to speak. "You were dead. I saw you. The blood."

"He stopped you."

"But the scalpel. I... I stabbed you." I can see her hands shaking, her eyes wide, as she looks at me.

"Obviously I'm not dead, Isabella." I roll my eyes at her overreacting. "You've never been a drama queen before."

"You kidnapped me. Both of you. I killed someone and you two kidnapped me."

"Protecting you. Be a little grateful will you?" I snap, pissed that she's getting so damn worked up over it.

"I _killed _that man!" She's crying, hysterical and wiping at her face so hard I'm surprised she doesn't break the skin.

"Would you like a gold star?" I was growing tired of her whining, her cries giving me a headache.

"Oh god Charlie." She's off the bed and grabbing my cell phone from the counter.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" I snatch the phone out of her hand throwing it against the wall.

"I was going to kill myself for you. I PUT THE FUCKING GUN IN MY MOUTH!" She screams in my face, spitting every word at me, and making my blood boil.

"You don't think I know that? You don't think I watched?" I shake her hard, angry at her for making me think about that again.

I didn't want her to fucking die. Not really.

"Of course you watched, Edward. You got off on it, too." I let go of her, shoving her into the comforter, and roll my shoulders, knowing if I touch her again I'll hurt her.

"Don't act so surprised."

"You are such a sick fuck." I shrug. A sick fuck she'll be riding later.

"Watch your mouth." I take a step toward her and I see it. The anger, the love. Her red rimmed eyes are wide as they stare at me. Daring me to try it.

"Or you'll what?" I eye the bag I've brought with me. It's zipped up right in the corner, scalpel still bloody inside.

I think about painting the walls with her blood, how incredible it would look mixed with the blues and whites.

"Hold still." Carlisle grabs my shoulder, pulling me back to the couch.

"If that bitch..." The book by the bed smacks me in the chest. The smile that slowly crawls up my face scares even me.

"You call me a bitch again and I'll aim for your eyes," she growls at me as she pulls at the bandage. Her dark hair cascades over her shoulder and her long legs are bent. I want to touch them, wrap them around my face, and make her scream in pleasure as I lick every inch of her.

"You are absolutely gorgeous when you're angry." And she is. Her cheeks are flushed, lips full and pouty.

"Get him away from me, Carlisle." She scoots back in bed, her shorts riding up her thighs.

"Don't be a tease, Isabella." I settle back in the couch, throwing both arms over the back as I watch her.

"Stop trying to take that off." He's already moving toward her, trying to keep her from doing any more damage.

"Let her touch it." I bite the inside of my cheek, fighting a smile as I watch her fingers.

"You're a fucking pervert." She shakes her head, looking back down.

"You never had a problem touching yourself for me before." She's going to hit me, and I can't fucking wait.

"Go to hell, Edward."

"What? No Mr. Cullen, now?" I watch as her cheeks turn red, and I can see the ghost of a smile on her lips. "Carlisle I'd like you to meet my not so innocent wife, Isabella."

"Bella, you already broke the lamp." Carlisle turns away from her just as she picks up the ashtray.

"I'll kill him." She winces, her fingers gripping the glass edge.

"Like you killed Jasper?" I'm too busy laughing to notice the ashtray's out of her hand and flying at my face.

I can taste the blood in mouth, and my dick grows hard in my jeans as I lick my busted lip.

"You crazy bitch!" I jump up to strangle her, when I feel Carlisle practically sit on top of me. "You better fucking move." I spit blood, my eyes locked with hers.

"I thought you liked it when I fought dirty."

"You remember that later, baby." I wink at her, and even from my spot on the couch I can see the fear in her beautiful face.

"You really think I'll let you touch me again? You really are delusional."

"And you are _really _starting to piss me off." My hands begin to shake, my entire body feeling {feels} as though it needs to break free from itself. She's pushing too many buttons at once, and I need to get the fuck away from her. Soon.

"You're pissed off? You?" She laughs at me, and I can feel the skin on the back of my neck prickle. "Piece of shit asshole." She mutters and I'm up, ready to wrap my fingers around her neck and strangle the life out of her.

"That's enough you two." Carlisle pushes off me, giving me a stern look, before picking up the bandages he dropped. "You're going to kill one another before I can fix you."

"I want answers, Edward." My eyes follow Carlisle as he moves to Isabella's side. I watch as his fingers touch her, my own gripping the cushion on the couch.

"I prefer Mr. Cullen." I tease, but I can feel the tension in my neck begin to grow.

"Is that so? Would you also prefer me on my knees trying to get my answers?"

"That's more like the Isabella I know." I chuckle, seeing the spark back in her eyes.

She doesn't even bother replying to me, instead, she grabs the pack of cigarettes I left beside her and lights one up.

"Since when do you smoke?" She hates the smell, the taste.

"Since I stuck a gun in my mouth. Since I thought you died. Since I killed someone. There's a very long list."

"Don't dump your ashes on the bed." I turn, grabbing my coffee, my eyes watching her as I take a sip.

"Are you going to answer me?" I ignore her, making her turn to Carlisle. "Do you want to give me some answers?"

"It's complicated. You shot someone, Isabella. We can't keep you safe in the States. This was our best option. I'm sorry." Carlisle looks nervous as he glances between us.

"Why didn't you just leave me?" I can see the tears collecting in her eyes as she looks dead at me.

"You think I'd really leave you to die?" My eyes harden as I watch her shrug. Like it's no big deal. Like I could really just leave her.

Like I could fucking live without her.

"You did before."

"I'd really hate to mess up that pretty little mouth of yours, baby." I sneer at her.

"You should have let me die." She shakes her head, her fingers drifting over the wound on her stomach.

"If you say that shit again, I'll have you begging for death." Every trace of humor I held onto breaks away as I look at her, and I can see the shiver run over her skin from my side of the room.

She should be scared.

"Was he like this as a child?" She asks, turning from me, as Carlisle looks over her wound.

"Edward was never a bad child. Smarter than most, but a good kid." He gives a shrug, as if it wasn't a big deal.

Isabella turns to me. Her big brown eyes are calculating as she tilts her head to the side.

"I bet you were a real monster as a child. Just good at hiding it." Her eyes narrow at me, and she smirks.

"Well, you never knew." I wink wiping the cocky look right off her tear stained face.

"Your back." His eyes go wide, and he flinches back when she leans up. The cuts up and down her back are still open, still fresh. I know he see's it too. That they'll never heal properly, she'll scar. That I've marked her. Laid my claim and he can't fix it.

"Your son." She deadpans, sending me a glare.

"Don't let her fool you. She enjoyed every minute of those wounds." And I'll enjoy making more.

"I think that's enough of Dr Cullen today." I don't want him near her anymore. It's making my head ache and I feel like I need to break something.

I watch as his eyes fall to her back. Shaking his head he grabs more bandages.

Isabella doesn't bother replying, hers eyes drift to mine, her bottom lip between her teeth. I know by her blush she's thinking about the mirror. How it felt against her flesh, breaking the skin, the blood dripping down her back. I can still feel her nails digging into my skin. She's staring at me, daring me, wanting me to punish her.

She may act like my actions don't turn her on in front of my father, but I'm not a fool.

Even now her legs cross, pale thighs rubbing together, and she's fidgets with the hem of my boxers she's wearing.

She wants more.

"Since Edwards decided smoking and watching you were more important, I wasn't made aware of these." Carlisle, the ever generous man, glares at me as he tapes on a new bandage.

"Thank you. I was enjoying the view."

"Where are we?" I can see her body tensing every time he touches her, and I know she's trying to take her mind off the pain.

I, on the other hand, would very much like for Carlisle to be the one in pain.

"Mexico. I have a friend who has been kind enough to help." His eyes are on us both, even when he's working I catch the glances at me.

He knows I'm angry, that my hands itch to snap his fingers as they touch her. He knows I've lost my temper over less. That when it comes to her anything is possible.

That even though I might regret it, I'd still kill him.

"We're here because I killed someone?" She jumps, yelping as Carlisle dabs her cuts.

"She's okay, Edward." I know she's okay. She would have been okay ten minutes ago.

"Get your hands off her." There is no emotion in my words, my fists don't clench, my eyes don't narrow. I'm angry, and I feel as though venom runs in my veins as my eyes flicker to his hand splayed across her bare stomach.

"Edward."

"Carlisle, you need to do what he says. Just go. He won't kill me." Isabella is trying to push his hands away. Her eyes on me, but I couldn't give a shit. I've put up with his hands on her for two days.

Two fucking days.

"You aren't safe, Bella." His hand moves further down, fingertips touching her hip.

"Well you really should have thought about that before, don't you think?" I can feel it, the vicious side of me planning an attack, the part of me that wants to play. I can already picture his skin as I peel it off, the blood coating my hands.

The pleasure in it.

"Isabella move." Fists clench, eyes calculating. I watch as his fingers lift off her as if she's burning him, as though it's the worst thing that he's ever felt.

Two days of touching, two days of his eyes on her breasts, two days of his skin on hers.

"Get out."

"I was only trying to help." He's backing away slowly, his hand already on the door, but the damage is done.

They've both pushed me too far, too soon. I know killing Carlisle would be a mistake. I fucking know it, but it doesn't take the edge off the need to hurt something. Someone.

"He wasn't hurting me." She pulls her shirt back over her head, and pulls her knees to her chin.

"Bye daddy!" I give a tight smile, and a small wave as he practically runs out the door and my eyes turn deadly.

I grab a cigarette, inhaling deeply, before I look at her. I can't think straight, not with her so damn close to me.

"You like testing me don't you?"

"You've put me through so much shit. You can't expect me to submit to you." Her back is against the headboard and I can see the fear in her eyes.

"Oh no. I don't want you scared of me. Bent over the couch and screaming my name, maybe, but never afraid." I run a shaking head through my hair, trying to keep it busy, away from her.

"We both want things we can't have." her defiance is one of the things I've always liked about her, but right now it only makes me want to run a blade over her throat so she can't speak.

"Sleep, Isabella." I don't bother looking at her as I grab the keys Garrett left me off the counter.

I can hear her screaming after me, and the sound of something shattering against the door just as I walk out of it.

I don't bother going back inside. As much as I want to go back in there and fuck her till she begs me to stop. I can already feel my cock growing hard at the thought of her clawing at me, moaning into my mouth, her nails on my chest.

I'd kill her if I did. I'd take it too far.

Instead, I walk until I see one of Garrett's men.

"I'll be your driver until you learn the area, Mr Cullen." He informs me as he opens the back door.

"Excellent." I slide in, enjoying the feel of the leather around me, and the mini bar.

"Where are we off to tonight?" He rolls down the partition, a broad dimpled smile on his face as he looks back at me.

I sigh looking into the rearview mirror, the smile on my face full of venom.

"I need a brunette."

**XOXO Nerdy**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you Ham and Livie!**

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT. **

**_GODS AND MONSTERS _**

**Chapter 4 **

Emmett pulls up to a broken down building. Women circle it, leaning into cars, hiking up their skirts. I can almost smell their diseases as they bend a little further, show a little more.

Absolutely disgusting and exactly what I need.

"I figured you could use a drink." He shuts off the car as I pull a cigarette out of my pack. Placing it behind my ear, I step out into the humid air.

"Come here often?" He's shutting the door behind me and I see the end of a desert eagle poking out of the back of his slacks.

The image swims in my mind, swirling and reminding me that I could have lost her. Bella's face, the tears streaking down it, my hand print covered in blood on her cheek, her lips swallowing the barrel of the gun. Reminding me that there is one thing, one single person who I couldn't live without.

Without her, the tiny shred of sanity I hold onto, would be torn to shreds.

She's the only thing keeping me together. She's why I exist.

"You really do need a drink," Emmett says as he eyes my hand. I'm gripping the door so tight I've drawn blood.

"Something like that." I slam the door, catching the eye of a dark haired beauty whose smoking near the entrance.

I give her a crooked grin. I trail my eyes over her long, tan legs and make note of her wavy hair. It's almost an exact replica of Isabella's, only darker.

She's almost perfect.

As I open the dirty door music thrums, booming and thumping in my ears. I can feel it under my feet and in my hands as I move to let a man pass me by.

I watch as Emmett walks around me, looking around the large room, flashing lights reflecting off his face. As soon as he spots an empty table he turns to me, gesturing me over.

I don't bother detailing the reason for my visit. Something about him, the way he smiles at me, tells me he already knows. That he doesn't really care.

His jobs is protecting me, not these women.

I order a whiskey, knowing I won't touch it. The smell alone makes my stomach turn. I kick a foot up on the table and breath out a sigh of relief.

"This place isn't the best, but it's private." Emmett leans up, nodding to the dancers on the stage in front of us.

"It's perfect." I sit back in my seat. My finger circles the dirty glass in front of me as I observe the women in the room.

It's a unique process, finding a victim. While my only real need is the hair color, I do still like a pretty face. They don't all need to look like Isabella, but the better the resemblance the longer they live.

For now I want an easy kill, instant gratification. It's her I want to get back to. It's her skin I want against me, her sweat mixing with my own. I want her lips on mine, and her fingers in my hair.

I want to look her in the eyes as I slip inside of her.

"Well hello stranger." I feel the hot breath in my ear. Hands slipping down my shoulders and under my shirt. "I saw you looking earlier."

"Can you blame me?" My head falls back, eyes landing on the woman from outside as she hovers above me.

"Do you have a name?" The question pisses me off.

"Edward."

"I'm Maria." And I don't care.

"Are you feeling lonely, Edward?" She moves around me, hips swaying seductively as she moves to straddle my lap. My name in her mouth, the sound of it as it falls from her lips, has my legs bouncing.

"Not anymore." I can feel a sinister smile creep across my face as I look into her chocolate brown eyes. They're all wrong, but my hands don't care. They itch to feel her neck, to make her bleed.

"You're new around here." I can feel her heated flesh through my jeans, her fingers trailing over the skin of my arms.

"And you talk too much." I brush the hair from her cheek, my knuckles skimming her exposed neck. I smile when she shivers. I watch eyes close as I run a single finger over her lips.

They're too plump. Too wet.

Her flesh is all wrong against mine. She's flawed. Used.

I can see it when she touches me. The differences.

"Do you want to go somewhere more... private?" Her lips are below my ear, kissing and licking up my neck. My hand twists in her hair, and I fight the urge to pull her back, wanting nothing more than to throw her off me.

"Emmett." I turn my head, glancing back at him.

"Follow me." We both stand. Maria slips off my lap and falls onto the floor at my feet.

"I've got you beautiful." I slip a hand around her waist, pulling her up close to me, and she gasps as her chest meets mine.

Fake breasts, too big, too hard.

"Are you like this with all the girls, Edward?" I watch her lips move, her tongue rolling over her words, her accent grating my nerves.

"Only you." I wink, hoping she's too busy trying to slip her hand down my pants to notice the hate in my eyes.

I pull her beside me, ignoring her whines as she trips and stumbles, until we're outside and face to face with Emmett.

"Are you ready for a little fun?" I watch as she looks over the car, she's practically bouncing with excitement as Emmett opens the door.

My own body is thrumming with pent up energy, begging to be released. Begging for a turn at the too talkative brunette.

"Anywhere in particular?" Emmett asks as Maria climbs into the backseat.

"Just drive. This won't take long." He nods as I pull the cigarette from behind my ear and light it up.

I take a moment before I get in beside her.

I let my frustration with Isabella wash over me. I let the hate, anger, and the vicious need for her take over. I let it fuel me. It pumps in my blood, bites at my heart, and pushes me.

"I like you, Emmett." I dump my ashes on the ground as I lean against the car, looking at him as he opens his door.

He's a big man, at least a few inches taller than me, but something about him makes me trust him. There is no judgement in his eyes, no curiosity when he stares at me. It's like he knows what I'm up to and he couldn't give a shit.

"You can ask." I know he's been wanting to since we left the house. It's written all over him.

"The woman?"

"She's nothing but foreplay." I shrug, lifting up and looking in the car. "She's a means to an end. Is that gonna be a problem?" I ask for his sake.

"Not even a little bit." He gives me a smile before he gets in and starts the car.

I take a few more hits as I look at the prostitutes on the sidewalk. None of them appeal to me. The woman in the car, while attractive, won't hold my interest for long.

The only thing she holds is the key to Isabella's survival tonight. It's like she's gripping it, begging me to turn in, to unlock what she can give me.

"Don't keep me waiting, Edward!" Her face moves into my view as I flick the butt over the car.

Emmett isn't even off the street before she's in my lap, trying her best to seduce me.

"You seem so angry." She's kissing up my chest, and all I can think about is how her blood will look against leather; will it splatter or pool?

"How would you like to play a game?" I pull her back with a rough tug, making her look at me.

"You into the kinky shit baby?" Her smile is sloppy, an effect from the alcohol swimming in her system.

"You have no idea." She gasps as the locks engage on the doors, her eyes growing wide.

"What is this?"

"I like to call it, _how bad do you want to live_?" I pull my jeans up over my boot and slip my hand inside. I smile when I feel the knife Isabella's father gave me when I asked for her hand in marriage.

"Let me out!" She scrambles back, beating on the partition between us and Emmett.

"He won't help you." I say slowly, as I smile down at the blade in my hand. "Don't be scared. I told you it was a game. Maybe you'll survive it." I lie.

"I'll do whatever you want, just don't kill me." Her knees are pulled to her chin and all I can see is Isabella in our bed.

"Strike one." I inch closer to he. My once shaking hand is still as ever, ready to strike out at the whore before me.

"No!" She crawls across the leather, trying hard to get away from me. I catch her by the ankle and drag her onto the seat before buckling her in.

"Be still okay?" I push the knife into her throat and she stiffens. She chokes back a sob as I wrap her wrists in the other belts beside her.

"I don't have money." Her tears puddle against my arm and I push the blade harder against her.

"Do I look like I need your money?" I laugh in her face as I look around the sedan. It's not my money at work here, but it's not as if I'm hurting enough to kidnap a whore to get any.

"Please."

"I fucking loathe begging." My teeth clench as I drag the knife across her neck just enough to break the skin. "If you beg again I will jam this in your throat. Then poof. No more god damned begging ever again."

"I won't. I swear. I won't." She's no different from the others. Her tears, her pleas, her screams. She's exactly like them. Ordinary, fake.

"I've had a really bad day, you'll have to excuse my manners," I say looking down at the makeshift restraints. "Normally I'd have you on a table, decorated in plastic, maybe a little candlelight, some music. Gotta set the mood, you know?"

"What the hell kind of sick freak are you?" She spits at me and I laugh, the sound is terrifying.

"I get asked that a lot." I scratch my head with the knife as I lean down between her legs. "Thanks for noticing, by the way."

I know I'm rambling. I'm always like that when I get excited. I just can't keep anything in.

"Now I need to know something." I run the knife down her leg, tearing at her fishnets.

"Anything."

"Would you give your life for someone else's?" I wonder if she'll surprise me. I might actually let her go if she does.

Rosalie was almost that lucky.

"What?" Her eyes scrunch and she takes a deep breath as I dig the blade in a little harder.

"Would you die so someone else could live?" I run it over her knee, watching as her eyes follow it. I enjoy seeing her fear as tears fall down her face.

"Yes," she chokes as I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss her palm.

"That's very noble of you, Maria." I smile up at her, licking my lips.

"Are you going to let me go now?" She's trembling, fear shining bright in her eyes as she looks at me. I close the knife pushing it in the back of my jeans as I watch her body relax.

"I will." I kiss her wrist as I undo the belts around them.

"I've never met anyone who liked this kind of kinky shit." She's rubbing her hands over the marks on her legs as she peeks at me through her hair.

"Strike two," I whisper to myself. I sit back in my seat with my hands behind my head, watching her every move.

I wonder how far she'll go, if she'll keep pushing me like Isabella does. If she'll keep talking, keep reminding me of her.

I want her to.

"Now where were we?" She slides over to me, her hands already rubbing over my cock, and all I can focus on is the blood on her neck.

There is something intimate about it. Something so appealing. Erotic.

I fist my hand in her hair, pulling it out of the way, so I can watch as it moves down her neck.

Her fingers wrap around me, trying to make me hard, trying to convince herself that she's turning me on.

"I have pills," she whispers as she moves closer.

"Shhh." I place a finger over her lips as I let thoughts of Isabella consume me.

Her blood smeared on the table, on the mirror. Her eyes watching me as I fuck her from behind.

I think about the first time I ever had her wrapped around my cock. How she screamed my name. The look in her eyes when her body came undone because of me.

When Maria's lips touch mine, I snap.

She hasn't even undone my pants, but the feel of her connecting with me, touching me makes my blood run cold. It's like a shiver running over me. Telling me, demanding me to do it. To show her who I really am.

"Next time don't get in the car with strangers." It's the light in their eyes that drives me.

It gives me power, makes me feel as though I could do anything.

Life is precious. It's tangible. You can hold it in your hands, feel it's pounding heart, touch it's beating blood. It's a high I'm always chasing, always needing.

When I look at Isabella all I want to do is open her up, inch by beautiful inch, and touch what makes her breathe. I want her heart in my hands, I want it more than I've ever wanted anything.

And then I don't.

Instead I only want her. Her mouth, her body, her eyes.

That's why when I look in Maria's eyes all I see is another day with Isabella. Another night. Another smile, a kiss. Pleasure and pain. Hate and love.

It's why as I hold her jaw in my hands I smile, dark and devious.

I can't help Isabella for what she does to me, for what she makes me do for her.

"Thank you." I tangle my hands deeper into Maria's hair as I move her closer to me.

It's that moment when realization clicks in her eyes that I crave.

She knows she's going to die.

Maria squirms beneath me, fighting as hard as she can to get away, and all I can do is smile.

I close my eyes, remembering that look, locking it away so I can play with it later.

I let dark brown eyes, long wavy hair, and long pale legs devour me. It's her breath against mine, her hair over my face.

It's her, always.

Seconds pass and I let all my anger, all my fury release at once and snap her neck, watching as she collapses onto the floor.

Emmett rolls down the window, his eyes catching mine. There is no anger, no real emotion, but I see his question.

"She broke my first rule." I look down, disappointed that she didn't put up more of a fight.

"You have rules?" He chuckles quietly.

"No kissing." I shrug as I push her away from me and look out the window, wanting nothing more than to go home to Isabella.

**XOXO Nerdy **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you Ham and Livie! **

_**SM OWNS TWILIGHT! **_

**GODS AND MONSTERS **

It's three am when I open the door to a dark house.

I see Isabella. Her shadow dances on the wall from the light of the open door.

Just like that, seeing her here, laying in the bed meant for us, I can smile. I can breathe.

I kick off my shoes and pull a chair close to the bed. I need to be close to her, watch her, know she's here with me.

I touch her back, my fingers ghosting over her wounds. I wonder if she'll ever truly know how I feel. If she'll accept the monster inside and the mask of a man that he wears.

My darkest thoughts are about her. Every depraved whisper, all my cruel ideas. Each one is for her, because of her. The wild look in my eyes, the savage need, the way I can't help but feel excitement from just her touch.

A single finger on my arm drives me insane. Like I need to rip her apart and touch her insides before it'll ever be enough.

She's a needle in my arm. The high I'm always chasing.

"Edward?" She barely turns in the bed to look at me, smiling before she scoots over.

It's little things like that from her, the need in her voice, how her hand reaches for me. It's drives me wild how easily she wraps me around her little finger.

It's a dangerous game that neither of us can resist.

"Sleep Isabella." I lift my shirt over my head and crawl in beside her. I smile when I feel her back against my chest, feel her heart beating a rhythm just for me.

Every inch of her feels like home as she rests her head on my arm. It's like I belong to her just as much as she does to me.

"Where did you go?" I can feel her heart as it speeds up, beating wildly because she's afraid.

"I needed to get away from you." I kiss her neck, all the tension from earlier released.

"You killed someone." I hear the break in her voice, and I know, even in the dark, that she has tears in her eyes.

"Does that really matter at this point?"

She's quiets and turns away from me, not wanting to face the truth.

"I won't ever stop." It's the truth. I pull her face, forcing her to look at me. "There isn't some switch I can just flip. I'm a killer. I murder people for pleasure."

"I know."

"You have to accept it. You have to because I can't fucking live without you. I tried and I failed. I can't let you go. Not this time." My grip tightens on her, the thought of her trying to leave me is terrifying. "Not ever again."

I'm too afraid to think about what I might do if she ever tries.

"Kiss me," she whispers, laying her hand over mine as I trace lines over her hip.

I can feel my heart racing as thoughts of her walking out swim in the darkness.

"You're supposed to be resting." A kiss to her shoulder, her neck. "You almost died." Goosebumps on her arm. My tongue behind her ear.

"You almost killed me." She presses her ass against me, closer, harder.

"It won't be the last time." I pull her closer to me. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, I close my eyes when she sighs.

"Just show me you don't hate me." She rocks back, making me moan. "That I mean something. Anything."

"You mean everything, Isabella." My hand brushes her side, my lips touching every part of her I can. "Everything."

I feel her trembling as her hand follows mine, dipping under the hem of her panties, exploring and exposing her.

"I need you." Her head falls back against my shoulder as I rub along her lips. Wet and ready.

"There isn't a single part of me you don't have." I kiss her hair, her throat, her eyes. "Don't think for a second I wouldn't rip myself apart for you."

She moans against me as I release her shoulder and pull her face closer to mine.

"I'd die for you. A hundred fucking times, I'd die." I push a single finger inside of her as her hand moves between us, reaching for me. Stroking me.

I listen to her moans as I move slowly inside of her.

She's so reactive to me, so ready, so willing. I take my time playing with her, enjoying every sound that falls from her lips, every kiss.

"Why can't I hate you?"

I grit my teeth, restraining myself from digging my fingers into her throat. "I think you do." I move away from her, letting her back hit the soft bed as I hover above her. "I think you get off on the hate."

Her hips lift, legs tangling with mine as I add another finger.

"You pretend, and lie. You want the pretty things, but you crave the vile." I kiss between her breasts, smiling as her heart pumps against my lips. "You think I'll judge you, that I won't love you for it."

"You can't love." My fingers push harder against her, shoulders tense, eyes hard.

"I can do _so _much more than love you, Isabella." And I will. I always have.

"Like using me?"

I resist the urge to gag her, letting her words fuel me. "Now who's playing a game?"

"I can't resist you." She squirms beneath me. Her hands fist the sheets and I can see her fighting me. Trying hard to hold onto her last thread of control.

"Why try? Just let me have you. All of you." I breath out, smiling at the delicious way she writhes under me.

"No." It's the fight in her eyes that turns me on the most.

"Now now, Isabella. Don't deny me." I press my palm flat on her stomach, pushing her down, watching as her eyes begin to roll.

"Edward?" She looks up at me, her eyes growing dark, her lip between her teeth.

"I want to show you something." I let my fingers slip out of her, her whimpers fueling me as I push down my jeans.

I can't show her love, not the kind from movies or fairy tales. I can show her me, the part of me that was only made for her.

"Why did you stop?" I push her thighs further apart with my knees. I'm done with her talking.

"Up." I grab her ass, lifting her and pushing her back against the headboard. "Give me your hands, Isabella."

"What?"

"Your hands. Don't make me ask again." I grab her wrists, pulling them over her head, one hand on her hip. "Now look at me. Look right into my eyes. I want you to see me."

She nods as I put my lips on hers, soft and slow.

I push into her slowly, pulling back just enough so she can see, so she knows.

"I can't love you. Not like you want me to." Her legs wrap around my waist, her hips pushing against mine as she gasps.

I thrust into her slowly, taking my time, wanting her to feel me, to feel us.

My lips trace her jaw and my hand clasps hers, connecting us. Binding us.

"I can't lose you," I whisper as bite her ear. I can feel the sweat as it rolls between us, dripping down her body onto mine.

"Never," she pants against me, her forehead resting against mine as we breath into one another.

"Promise me." Lie to me.

"I promise." I can feel her lips close to mine, whispering her love, begging me for more.

I want to give her everything, pull it out of me and hand it all over. I want her to feel it. To need it.

Crave it.

"Hold onto me." I grab her knees as her arms close around my neck, her fingers play in my hair and send chills over me.

I turn us, moaning as her hips push hard against mine. I've never been so deep inside her, so close, so complete.

I brush my knuckles against her sweat soaked cheek, feeling my heart thump faster in my chest as she smiles up at me. Beautiful brown eyes meeting sadistic green.

It tears me apart watching her, seeing those eyes look at me as though I'm it. That I'm all she ever needs.

That I'm hers.

I can feel it in her touch, that I'm her everything, that she's mine to break. To hold together. To posses. To destroy.

Even though she knows I can never give her what she thought we had or be who she thought I was.

"Bella..." She puts her fingers over my mouth, her eyes filling with tears.

"Don't stop," she begs. I can feel my armour breaking for her, shattering as she falls apart around me.

"Never." It's a promise. "Always." It's a truth.

Hands touch and teeth bite. It's demanding and possessive. A dance neither of can possibly win, and yet we try. Over and over. Again and again until we're both left exhausted and drained.

We're sticky and panting as her fingers lace with mine and she lays against me.

I feel her lift off me, her body separating from mine after hours of being connected and for the first time in a long time, I'm scared.

My arms wrap around her possessively, as if she'll disappear completely, that I'll lose her the minute she's up.

Because I might.

"Stay."

**XOXO Nerdy**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you Ham and Livie. **

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT. **

**GODS AND MONSTERS **

**Chapter 6 **

"Isabella." I yawn, burying my face deeper into the pillow. My arm reaches out for her, only to find an empty bed, cold and lumpy.

I'm awake instantly. I turn over and stare at the ceiling.

If she's run, I'll kill her. I don't even think I'll be able to help myself.

I take a deep breath, letting my heart dislodge itself from my throat as my hand runs over the empty sheets next to me.

"EDWARD!" Bang bang bang. "I know you're in there." Bang.

I don't move, I don't blink. I look at the stark white ceiling, thinking about her face, her scent. How she looked beneath me just hours ago.

"Let me in!" Screaming and banging. It's not Isabella though. "We need to find Carlisle."

"Damn it!" I pull on my boxers and look around the room. The bag Carlisle packed her is still there. Even the boxes from her house are still scattered about.

The banging becomes louder, incessant in rhythm as I pull open the bathroom door.

No Isabella.

I grab the knife from my bag, not bothering with a shirt as I storm toward the door and snatch it open.

"What the fuck!"

"Edward." Emmett's face is pale, his eyes wide as he grips the side of the door. His shirt is covered in blood, the once white crisp button up I'm used to seeing, now stained in dark crimson.

I remember how Isabella's blood looked. It makes me want to reach out and touch his shirt, rub the warm sticky liquid between my fingers and breathe the essence of life through my nose.

"Snap out of it!" He pounds on the door, and I look up, glaring.

"Where the fuck is she?" My blood runs cold. I know it's hers before he even has a chance to open his mouth again.

I knew something was wrong the second I opened my eyes. As soon as I felt the cold bed.

"I don't know what happened." He looks scared as he notices the knife. Good. "Too much blood."

His arms are covered in it. It drips down the side of his neck. Sticky and drying as it soaks into the fabric.

"Emmett," my nostrils flare as I white knuckle the knife in my hand. "I have no fucking patience for this."

"There was so much blood. I'm so sorry." He's babbling and I'm tempted to slap the fuck out of him to shut him up. The sound of his voice driving me insane.

"You need to shut the fuck up, Emmett." I start tapping the side of my head with the handle of the knife, trying hard to think straight. To get the image of Isabella, broken and dead, out of my mind. "Just tell me where she is."

"In the car, but she isn't alone."

"Is she..." I can't even finish the sentence as I eye the black steel a few yards away.

"I don't know."

"What the fuck do you mean you don't know?" I laugh at him, the sound jarring as the tip of the knife digs into my thigh. "Why would you let her leave?"

"She said she needed things. Carlisle didn't leave instructions for her." His eyes go wide as I bring up my blood covered hand looking at it. I've stuck the blade much deeper than I thought, but I can't feel the pain, only the white hot anger for my father.

I should know better than to trust him. Than to believe he'd ever want me happy.

Of course he didn't. He'd want her to have the best chance she could. Even if it meant running from me.

I look at Emmett and then at the car. I tell myself not to run, knowing I might not like what I find. If she's dead I won't be able to stop myself from ripping Emmett apart inch by inch for his role in this.

I remind myself that I like Emmett. It would be shame to kill him.

If I kill him, who would hide the body?

"The blood's hers."

Emmett grabs my arm just as my foot digs into the gravel, stopping me from running to her.

"What's in that car?" He shakes his head and looks down at his arm.

The blade's not deep, maybe an inch into his skin and when I look at him there is no anger in his brown eyes I can see my reflection in them, crazed, wild.

"You're gonna need to take your arm off me," I warn. All the bland normalcy I've held onto, every inch of decency Isabella created within me is gone as I look at him.

He doesn't say anything as he takes a step back and lets me pass.

I don't know how I make it to the door of the car so quickly. I don't even realize I'm shaking until I reach for the handle, stopping when I see my reflection in the glass.

For the first time in my life I'm scared. The man staring back at me in the glass has tears in his eyes. I feel sick when I see blood on the sleek steel of the handle.

"Don't be a pussy, Cullen. Just open the door." There is a small handprint on the window and I swallow the bile in my throat.

Isabella is supposed to die at my hand. _Mine_. And me at hers.

I pull open the door, the creaking metal sounds like a cannon exploding in my ears. I take a step back, my stomach dropping at the scene in front of me.

"Oh baby, what did you do?"

**So I bet you wanna hug me real hard right now, huh? LOL**

**XOXO NERDY **


	7. Chapter 7

**SM OWNS IT! **

**Thank you Ham and Livie! **

**Chapter inspiration: Mypet: Pays to Know.**

**Gods and Monsters**

**Chapter 7 **

My eyes begin to focus as I stare into the car. It's like a dream as I look inside.

Leather and blood. Matted hair and tattered clothes.

A mixture of nightmare and fantasy.

I see her, still as a statue, eyes wide and skin pale as her fingers clutch at the end of her shirt. A shirt that's soaked all the way through in blood.

"Isabella? Look at me." I run my hand over the seat, careful not to scare her. "Listen to my voice. Look at my face. Come on baby." My fingers are inches from her thigh, but I can see she doesn't even know I'm here.

I'm as good as invisible to her.

"She's been like that since I put her in the car." Emmett peeks into the car above me and I watch as my fist clenches.

"You touched her?" I can feel the anger swelling and filling up inside me as my eyes move to her.

_My _Isabella.

There are no bruises on her arms. She isn't scratched up and nothing looks broken, but I still find it hard to breath, hard to control the rage. The need to make him pay for laying even a single finger on her skin is overwhelming.

"I had no choice. It was either get her in the car, or leave her." I ignore him and move a little closer, trying not to spook her.

"Bella." She flinches and scoots closer to the other door. "I won't hurt you. I promise."

I watch her cheek twitch, the curve of a small dimple peeking out, and then I hear the first sounds of her breaking as laughter bubbles from her chest and out her mouth.

"What the hell happened to her?" I turn to Emmett who is back to his body guard stance, arms crossed, eyes straight ahead.

"Edward." She sings my name, and chills run up my spine as her fingers draw designs on the window with the blood that coats her fingers.

"I couldn't help myself. She was just so pretty. Just your type." She's writing her name on the window, her head turned away from me, but I can hear the smile in her voice. "Isn't she pretty, Edward?"

"Why don't you scoot over here and let me take you inside?" I move my eyes slowly to the other end of the car and watch the rise and fall of the other woman's chest. A brunette.

"Where did she get that?" I tilt my head to the scalpel stuck in the abdomen of the woman.

"Did you see, Edward?" She's giggling and lifting her hand as blood drips to the floor below. "Did you see? Tell me you saw?"

"I do see, baby." And I do. I see the blood and the strands of hair in her tightly fisted fingers.

I see her work. I see her pride.

"I did that for you." She leans up, trying to push herself off the seat and extends her hand for the womans head, just as I reach for her. "Stop!" She swats my hand away. "I need you to see. Let me go, Edward."

"No, Isabella." She fights against me until I grab both her hands, pushing them in her lap, trying to keep her from getting too close.

"Help me with her." I stand slowly, rubbing a hand over my stubbled face as I look around.

I have no idea what the fuck caused this. Not really.

I know how to clean it up, how to fix it. I even know how to start it.

I just don't know how to fix _her_.

How do you fix something you created?

"What about the other one?" Emmett leans into the car and I can hear Isabella's giggles getting louder as I walk toward the house.

"Leave the whore in the car and stay with Isabella. I need to grab something."

I don't bother to look back as I head for the door, opening it, and going straight for my bag.

I pop out a single syringe, thankful that she didn't grab one of them when she searched through it.

I know for a fact Carlisle would never give her a scalpel, unless he intended her to use it on me. Something his coward ass couldn't do himself.

But she wouldn't, or at least she can't yet.

Isabella is strong, stronger than me even, but she's breaking. Cracking and shattering in places I may not be able to reach.

She might want me dead, and thats fine, I dream of her death on my hands nightly.

I look at the syringe, checking for bubbles and tapping it twice.

She can want me dead all she wants. It's the act that we deny.

I don't kill her because those cracks that are creeping into her heart now are the same ones that creep into mine. They're the same ones that will murder me.

The ones that whisper and whimper with every inch they grow.

Those are why I don't kill her, and why I'm sure she won't kill me, not yet.

Those simple little cracks that remind me of her and why I won't lose her. Why I can't.

"EDWARD!" Emmett screams for me outside, grabbing my attention.

I watch him from the door, arm slung over my head, needle dangling in front of my eyes.

"I could really use your help!" His eyes land on me and I smile.

I can hear the banging inside the car, and curiosity carries me forward until I reach them.

"She bit you."

"I was trying to keep her off that one." His head tilts to the unconscious woman in the car while he hold his forearm.

"It's a good thing I brought this then." I walk around the car to her side and watch as her bloody hand smacks against the tinted glass.

"She won't stop that."

"Always acting like a child." I smile into the window as I lean down and listen. The wet smacking is like music to my ears.

Thwack.

Thwack.

"It's time to go back to being an adult, Isabella." I stick the needle between my lips and watch Emmett on the other side blocking her escape.

She almost falls out of the car, giggling and crying as I open the door. Her smile is wide as she looks at me, and I can't help but brush the sweaty hair away from her eyes.

"You've never been more beautiful to me than in this moment." I kiss her forehead and grab her hand.

"Edward." She sighs my name just as I jam the needle into her arm.

"It's a sedative." I answer Emmett's questioning eyes as she falls into my arms.

Lifting her up, I squeeze her to me as her face lays against the tattoo on my chest.

"I have a list for you, Emmett." I walk around the car to him, eager for his reaction. "Back pocket."

"Is this for her?" He looks down at Isabella in my arms and I laugh.

"Unfortunately, no."

I could never kill Isabella.

I _can_ enjoy the game, though.

**So did you enjoy the update?**

**Some of you thought she was dead. Some even begged for her to be dead.**

**Bella isn't that lucky LOL. **

**Thank you everyone for supporting me this last week. I appreciate it so much. **

**See you guys next update!**

**Don't forget to leave some love in my box.**

**XOXO Nerdy**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Thank **__**you **__**Ham **__**and **__**Satan **__**for **__**holding **__**my **__**hand **__**and **__**putting **__**up **__**with **__**me**__**. **_

_**SM**__**Owns**__**it**__**.**_

_**Gods**__**and**__**Monsters**_

_**8**_

I sit with my back against a box labeled "Edward Masen Cullen" and keep my eyes on the bed.

I've counted eleven hours since Isabella broke. Eleven hours since Emmett came to the door covered in blood and dirt. With one stiff with one stiff nod, he let me know the body had been disposed of after I snapped yet another neck.

After eleven hours the only light in the room is the flickering of snow on the TV and the burning end of my cigarette. I've pulled the curtains closed and locked the doors as I poured over her work.

Her box of me. Evidence she's gathered, information she's learned. Our recordings.

I pick my phone up off the floor and pass it back in forth in my hands. My eyes travel between her and the number I've dialed.

It's all here, scattered and strewn on the floor in front of me.

A shrine she would never admit to making.

There are pictures of my victims, and papers she's written. A file thicker than a phone book sits at my feet, filled with details of each murder, labeled by name and date.

She's controlled in her research, meticulous and a bit obsessive.

I look them over, reading every inch of the work she's put into me. I read and write my own notes, and when I'm done I look at Isabella. Again and again.

I take in all of her.

She's bound. Wrists and ankles. Tied and knotted.

It's equal parts protection, and my own amusement at seeing her strapped down like an animal.

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing her that way.

To just look at her.

She's like a disease that's trickled up my spine and made a home in my mind.

She ravages my every thought, takes hold of my every dream.

She has no idea of the power she wields.

"You tried to diagnose me," I laugh into the dark room as I whittle the tip of a knife into the wooden floor beneath me and press send.

I carve the word that stares back at me from the top of a pile into the floorboards as I wait.

Over and over, harder and harder.

_S__ociopath__. _

"I wonder what went through your mind," I whisper to her as I watch her squirm on the bed. "Did it disgust you? Or did you fantasize about playing the games with me?"

I want to wake her and demand an answer, but once again Isabella is saved by the grating voice of my father.

"Edward? I didn't think I'd hear from you for awhile."

"Things changed. People were murdered. Isabella lost her shit." I tap the knife as my eyes rise to Isabella's bare legs.

"What happened, son?" Concern laces his voice. I should be angry that it's not for me, but Isabella really could use someone's concern right about now.

"She tried to murder a hooker she picked up on the street." I laugh, thinking of how angry she must have been to slice at that woman the way she did.

"What? Why would she do that? What happened, Edward?"

"Nothing happened. She went crazy. I don't know. She was fine when we went to sleep." I rub the back of my neck, wondering what I could have missed when she laid beside me in bed.

"Did you do something that would upset her?"

"Don't I always?" The chuckle escapes me before I can stop it, but I don't hide the smile. Of course I upset her. A broken lamp would upset her right about now.

"This isn't the time to polish your ego. Something could be wrong with your wife." I can just picture Carlisle's perfectly whitened teeth gritting together as he sits at his desk.

"There is _always_time for my ego."

"Why did you call me?"

I sit back, crossing my legs and sighing out loud, frustrated with this conversation. "I don't know what to do with her." I've tied her to the bed, but something tells me that might not be enough, and I can't keep her that way forever.

"Take care of her. Show her what you should have showed her to begin with."

Silence. I gave Isabella all of me when we married. There isn't any part of me she doesn't own already.

"Am I not enough?" There's a crack in my chest as I think about it, and my grip on the knife tightens.

"Love her, Edward." It sounds so damn easy when he says it, but he's not me. And she isn't his.

"And who says I haven't?" I growl, ready to throw the phone at the sleeping woman on my bed.

"Do you love her?"

More silence.

"You have to understand, son. Bella isn't like you. Her emotions, her thoughts, she loves you. Where you see her as an object, she sees you as a lover, a husband."

"And she's my wife." I hiss at him.

I'm a lot of things, but an idiot is not one of them. I know her emotions are different than mine. It's one of the reasons I was drawn to her.

"A wife that you married because you wanted no one else to have her. You see people as possessions. She doesn't."

She sees me as a possession. Her notes, her addiction to my case, to me. It's nothing but proof that she is _exactly_like me.

You can't love without obsession, and you can't live without it either.

"I've sent you something. It's for Isabella." A single name spoken and I know he's smiling.

"I got your email," he pauses and I know he's about to express his distaste of my idea.

"Good. Then we're done here." I don't have time for his whining. I'd much rather spend my time planning and watching Isabella.

"Edward?" Her groggy voice shakes me and I bring the knife down hard onto the floor, watching as it sticks and wobbles.

"Time to play." I snap the phone shut just as Carlisle begins yelling my name, and make my way closer to her.

"Oh good! You're awake." I bring my hands together with a loud clap making her wince.

"What did you do to me?" She looks up at her wrists, yanking hard at the fabric that holds them. Her milky white skin looks beautiful against the dark threads.

"You did a very bad thing, Isabella." I bite my thumb nail as I watch her, jerking on her restraints one at a time then all at once. "A very, very bad thing."

"She was me. I mean... she looked like me. I thought it was me, and I thought you were with her. I thought you were..." Her eyes are wild as she looks everywhere but at me.

"Say it, Isabella." It's intoxicating watching her, but I need to hear the words.

She needs to hear herself say them.

"Fucking her." She spits at me as she tries to rip away from her ties. I've knotted them tighter than necessary, but the marks they'll leave is already driving me wild. "That's what you like isn't it? A replica? Someone you can fuck and destroy without remorse. You're nothing but a sick bastard who's daddy didn't hug him enough, so you take it out on me."

"So you were jealous?" I ignore her daddy jab and laugh at her as I move around the pictures at my feet, watching as she glances down at me. Her face jerks back when she sees what I have.

"Edward?" Fear washes over her face as realizes what I have. I remember that look. So much fear on a face like that, in eyes so brown, and all I can think about is being inside of her.

Touching her. Fucking her. Making her beg.

"Don't like what you see?" I pull out a picture of Alice and wave it up at her.

"Where did you get those?"

"At our home." I shrug, stacking a few papers into my own file. Reading her words, her thoughts, her jealousy, it's more of a turn on than watching her struggle.

"You never lived there." Her fists ball tightly as I trace a finger over Alice's bloodied face.

"Semantics."

"You had no right!" She screams as her struggling becomes more frantic. "Stop that!"

"Do you really not know me at all, Isabella?" I ask, half grinning to myself. "And quit that before you hurt yourself. I don't feel like cleaning up any blood right now."

"Right? Because god forbid I hurt myself in your sick little fantasy." She laughs as she yanks her wrists, making the headboard shake.

"Poor little, Isabella. What it must be like to live in that little head of yours. Is daddy's girl not getting her way?"

"I hate you!" She screams and it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.

"I hate you too." I touch her fingers, needing contact. "Now be quiet, I'm reading."

"_Edward__'__s __sexual __needs __fuel __his __fantasies __with __the __women __he __abducts __and __murders__."_ I lift my eyes to hers and watch her flinch at my words. "You knew it was you I thought about when they touched me didn't you? Did you touch yourself when you read my files?"

"Please don't do this." She tugs at her bindings harder as I shuffle through her papers.

"Do you not want me to enjoy myself?" I pout and watch as her eyes turn stormy.

"You're being cruel." She enjoys it.

"You love it when I'm cruel, Isabella. You can admit that. I won't tell a soul." I bring a finger to my lips and offer her a crooked smile.

"_Edward __exhibits __psychological __disorders__, __perhaps __stemming __from __a __childhood __trauma__." _I read aloud, memorizing the words she had written.

"Is that how you coped? Believing I was traumatized as a child? Did you concoct a story to go along with it? Did it make it easier to bear?" I pour over the sheets of paper, looking and searching for information I'm not even sure I want.

"Untie me."

"Where would the fun be in that?" I push the papers aside and move toward the bed, running my fingers along the smooth skin of her calf.

"Not like this." She squirms as my fingers reach her thigh.

"No, exactly like this." I watch as her legs tremble as I rake my nails across her knee.

"Edward." I reach up and stroke her face, watching as her eyes close.

I've always liked the way her skin felt against mine.

"I like you this way. Struggling. Wanting me to touch you, but refusing to enjoy it."

"You like my fear." She hisses.

"Of course I do. But I like your legs wrapped around my face more." My lips press against her knee, and it's like tasting her for the first time.

"Don't, Edward." There's a flushing in her cheeks and a smile on her face as she looks down at me.

"Are you wet, baby?" Her head falls against the pillow at my words.

"You think I like this?" She mutters, trying to pull away from me.

Two fingers slip inside of her, and a moan passes between her lips.

"I know you love it."


	9. Chapter 9

**SM owns it.**

**Thank you, Ham and Satan. Satan called me a HOOR so many times while working her magic I feel like I should be on a corner somewhere. There was also a TON added after Satan did her thing, so any mistakes are mine.**

**Gods and Monsters**

**9 **

"You know, you're fucking gorgeous when you come around me." I pump two fingers inside of her and listen, letting her moans consume me.

"Edward." My name is so faint on her lips, but echos so loud inside my head.

"I fucking love when you say my name," I kiss my way up her sweat soaked body, watching as her fists tighten around the sheets.

"Don't stop."

"Never." I reach her jaw and run my thumb across her cheek, before wrapping my fingers into her hair and crushing my lips to her.

"Oh god." She breaks away from me, we lock eyes, and all I can think is how fucking lucky I am to have her below me, just before I flinch back in pain.

"Fucking bitch." I snatch my arm away as she sinks her teeth into me and I grab her by the jaw.

"Aww. What's the matter, Edward? I thought you liked it rough." She laughs as my blood runs down her chin.

"Is that how it is?" I reach between her legs, shoving her thighs as far apart as they'll go. "You wanna play rough, Isabella?" Her eyes go wide, and she tries to scoot further up the bed.

"Don't touch me, psycho!" There is a trembling in her lip, but I can see the smile in her eyes as she watches me. I know how badly she wants this. She can't hide from me.

"This little attitude of yours is a turn on, baby." I give her a wicked smile and a wink, as I move back down her body.

"You think I'm gonna have sex with you?"

"No?" I slide two fingers inside of her again, biting the inside of my cheek when her ass lifts off the bed. "Cause you're awfully fucking wet for someone who doesn't want to have sex."

"Edward..."

"Tell me to stop, Isabella." In and out. I kiss her knee, sliding my tongue up her thigh. "You're gonna have to tell me, or I will fuck you. I'll fuck you while you're tied to this bed and I'll enjoy every single scream you make."

"You know I can't."

"You smell so fucking good." I kiss my way up her hip, letting my teeth rake over the bone and kissing the sensitive flesh.

I can't keep my hands off her. I never fucking could. Even when I'm not inside of her, I'm thinking about it.

"What you did with me last night. It was nothing but a lie. A mirage to keep me happy. Fuck you for making me believe the lie and fuck you for making me love you!"

"I didn't make you do shit. Stop acting like a miserable bitch who isn't getting her way for one fucking minute." Jesus Christ.

"You can't love something you want dead, Edward."

"I may never be able to love you, but you're so fucked up that you can't even think of being without me. You kept a goddamn file of me like it was photo album."

"That was none of your business."

"You wanted me to find that." I laugh at her, and she seethes.

"And you wanted me in that box. Dead." My nails dig so deeply into her skin as she speaks. It's the only way I can keep from reaching up and smacking her.

"That's just it. I can't kill you. I want to, so fucking help me, I've never wanted to strangle you so bad in my life as I do right this fucking minute. But I'm not." Even with my hand on her jaw the image of her neck snapping is making me hard as fuck.

"Only because you want me to fuck you."

"My cock buried inside of you is a valid reason to keep you alive, Isabella. I like my pussy warm, not cold." I shrug making her fight against the ropes even harder.

I hear the manic laughter bubble from her, and all I can picture is her covered in blood, staring at the hooker she tried to murder.

"Why in the hell did I ever love you?"

"I'm adorable. I don't blame you for falling for me. I'd fall for me too."

"If you untie me, I'll play nice. I swear." Another lie. Her mouth says one thing, but those once innocent eyes let me know she'd burry a knife so deep inside my chest I'd taste it.

"I told you, I like you better this way."

"You don't. You like it when I touch you. When my lips are on you. My nails clawing at your back. You may have liked the other women tied up, but you love it when I fight back."

"True. But there is something about knowing the bruise on your body, and the eventual scars, were made by me. If I thought carving my name on the inside of your thigh," I bite down on this inside of her leg, making her scream as I taste her blood in my mouth.

"Fuck!"

"I'd do it," I lift my eyes to hers, and run my thumb over the blood staining my lips. "I'd make you wear my name for the rest of you life."

"Sick bastard."

"Stop fighting me, Isabella." Let me control you. Own you.

"You'll never let me go will you?"

"No. I won't." My heart is pounding in my chest at the thought of her gone.

"I'm going crazy. That's what's happening. You've made me so delusional I can't even tell what's real anymore." She rambles.

"This," I push her head to the side and whisper into her ear as I pull down my boxers. "This. Us. We're real."

"Stop."

"Stop what?" My eyes turn cold as I look up at her.

"I have her blood on me."

"And yet you never complained before. I think you look beautiful." I brush my hand over the smudge against her chest. "You enjoyed yourself, Isabella. You liked the feel of that girl's pulse beneath your palms, of the way she looked at you, with pleading and desperate eyes." I kiss her mouth. "Believe me, I know that look."

"I'm not you, Edward." She tries to pull away from me, but my grip is steel against her jaw.

"No. You're worse than me." I chuckle as my hand cups her pussy, and my smile turns sinister as she moans. "I can feel your pulse, that wanting. Your body is begging for me to take it. You talk a good game, baby, but you want me inside of you just as much as you wanted that girl dead."

"Fuck you! Get the hell off me!" And another crack forms in a heart she doesn't believe exists.

"Fine. Fucking tease." I grip her chin one last time, knowing I'm leaving a bruise before pushing off her.

I don't even bother looking at her as I grab my knife and slice through the ropes. It takes less than a second for her to react and her wrist is in mine before she can launch herself off the bed at me.

Wrong move.

"If you hit me," I grit through clenched teeth as I take a step away from her. "I will tie you back to that bed and gag you. I won't play nice with you again, Isabella."

I move away from her, turning my back and reminding myself if I stick this knife in her stomach, it'll only piss me off more.

"Where are my clothes?"

I grab the closest thing near me, my boxers and a t shirt, and throw them at her.

"When you're done, leave." I exhale a shaky breath and I close my eyes. Images of her blood and her body covered in plastic accost me. Her screams fill my mind and a deadly smile graces my lips.

"What?" She stops cold and spins around with wide eyes.

She's scared, and it's doing nothing but fueling my anger.

"I'm two seconds from slitting your throat and painting this room with every ounce of blood in your body. You wanted anger? You wanted to see who I really am?" I ask, stabbing the counter and turning toward her. "This is what I am. This is who you fantasize when you're alone at night. Would you like to stick around and enjoy it? Or do you want to stay alive?"

"I just wanted out of the ropes."

"Fucking liar. It's pathetic. You pushed me on purpose. You always do." And yet I crave the lies.

"I don't." I know she does.

"Stop with the fucking lies!" I scream and I can feel the wood beneath my fingers begin to splinter as the last bit of control I have slips away from me.

"I love you."

"That's not enough right now." Please go.

"Edward. Please don't do this. I just got you back." She pleads as tears slip from her eyes.

"I said get the fuck out!" I rip the knife from the counter and throw it at her, watching as it sticks into the wall beside her head.

"You'll regret this."

"Oh no, baby. You will." I laugh as she slams the door behind her.

**Don't kill me, okay? Remember I love you guys LOL. **

**We're almost at the end! I'm thinking, if Edward can stick to the original plan, 3 more chapters. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Ham and Satan are amazing. They shined this up all pretty for you guys. **

**I lucked the fuck out having them.**

**I added SO much to this so ALL mistakes are mine. **

**SM owns Twilight. **

**Chapter 10 **

"FUCK!" I slam my fist against the frame of the door, listening as it splinters under my weight. Blood drips down my wrist and I can feel the ache of bruises forming beneath my skin.

It'll be a good reminder. A scar always telling me, even if I want her dead, I want her more.

The second she walked out the door I knew I made a mistake. I could taste the acid of it on my tongue, and feel it deep in my chest. A tightening that made me weak.

I hate her for it. Hate her for making me need her. For making me miss her.

I remember Carlisle's words when I told him about her. About the one. My one.

"_She's nothing but a distraction between two legs."_ And she was, but she's more.

So fucking much more.

She's my life. My death. She shatters, and she completes me.

There isn't another fucking person alive, not another person dead, that would ever compare to her. If there was I'd murder them. I have murdered them.

And now, as I stand, beating my head against the door, all I can think about is getting her back. Dragging her to me and demanding she take me for me.

That she tells me what I can't tell her.

"Fuck." I can feel the damn tear as it rolls down my cheek, and I beat my head harder.

Fuck her for making me miss her.

Fuck her for making me scared.

"You're kind of freaking me out." I wipe my cheek with my hand, smearing the blood on my face, and turn to him.

"You can blame my wife. I do." If he did, I'd slit his throat where he stands. I'd probably even write Isabella a love letter with his blood.

I'm nothing if not romantic.

I clench my teeth, taking a deep breath through my nose, and look around the room.

I can smell her, the sex, the blood. Her tears. She's everywhere, and she's not, and I can feel myself grasping for any kind of control the more I realize she's gone.

I've been preparing for this moment since I first laid eyes on her.

The moment I might actually lose her. The moment I'd break her. Or at least her mind.

The thought makes me sick and drives me mad. I can taste the bile rising from my stomach as I think about how fast she's slipping away from me.

My instinct is to kill her. To lay her in plastic and slice away her doubt inch by inch. To watch her bleed until she begs me to stop. Promises me that she'll never leave.

That it's me she wants. That it's always been me and forever it will only be me.

That I'm the sick fantasy inside her head that won't disappear.

"Garrett's men are following her." Emmett's been watching me for the last fifteen minutes. His hulking frame is meant to terrify me, to let me know I'm weaker, but the softness in his eyes as he looks down at me is his true form.

Even if he could hurt me, I'm skilled. Deadly. When he looks in my eyes I know he sees that. I know he sees a lot of things about me. Mostly, I know he sees Isabella when he looks at me.

He sees a weakness.

That's been my problem since I met her.

She's a nasty disease. An addiction I can't quit.

A flame to my fuse.

Her wavy brown hair and smooth long legs. Touching them, touching her, is one of the best and worst feelings I've ever encountered. It's one I don't plan to stop feeling any time soon either.

"Have they given you updates?" I ask, pushing myself away from the door.

"No. They were asked only to tail her, as a gesture for you." I can feel the relief trying to push into my chest, but she isn't with me yet.

"She can't get far, but we need to catch up." I grab my boots, lacing them up and slipping my knife inside, readying myself for a fight with her.

She's always been the one fight I truly enjoy. The only one who could win against me, even if she doesn't know it.

"You're going after her?" I can hear the surprise in his tone. He'd seen me with the stripper. I'm sure he's heard countless stories about me. Maybe he's even seen pictures of my crimes.

If he's disgusted by what I've done, he doesn't show it.

"She's unstable, but that doesn't mean I would just write her off." Writing her off means giving up on her. As much as I'd love her dead, I'll never give up.

"That's not what I meant." Liar.

"It's exactly what you meant."

"You seem angrier than the last time I was here." He looks almost... happy when he says it.

"And you ask too many questions." I take a drag of my cigarette, watching him carefully. "Why is that?"

"Curiousity? You two aren't like anyone I've ever met."

"Isabella is mine." I grip the gun a little tighter, growing agitated and impatient. "She's not a victim I play with, not unwillingly anyway. She became mine, and only mine the day I laid eyes on her, and there is no fucking way I'll ever give her up."

"Even if that's what she wants?" He leans against the wall, watching me as I gather what I need.

"Did you not hear what I just said?" I turn on him, bullets in one hand, my gun in the other. "I don't share."

"I'm not afraid of you, Edward." He crosses his arms, but the intimidating look he's used on so many others makes me want to laugh.

"I'm not trying to scare you."

"Yes you are. You've been trying to scare me since we met." Maybe to begin with. Now I just want him to shut the fuck up and lead the way.

"No. I'm trying to load my gun and make you understand that Isabella has as much choice in this matter as I do." I didn't make her marry me. I didn't make her pull the trigger and kill a man. I would have, but I didn't.

She chose me.

"Everyone has free will." He shakes his head and laughs at me.

"We don't." I shrug, grabbing my leather jacket and slipping it on.

"How can you say that?"

"Because I won't lie to make you feel better. Do you think I want this? To feel like my skin is crawling and trying to rip me apart from the inside when I'm away from her? Do you think I don't dream about putting this gun in my mouth and ending that feeling? I fantasized about that every fucking minute I am away from her.

"I dream of swimming in her blood when I'm near her. I can taste what her death would be like on my tongue every time we kiss. I can feel her heart in my hands, beating it's last beat every fucking time we touch." It's unbelievable the things a person can make you feel. What I feel for her might not be normal, but I don't care. I like it. Crave it.

I need it as much as I need her.

"And you call that love?" He watches me, shaking his head, not believing a single word I say.

"How would you describe love, Emmett? All consuming? Someone who invades every part of you? Feeling like your entire body is alive with electricity every time you touch and it hurts to be away from them, even for a minute?" I can't help myself answering him. Like the words won't let me contain them.

It's her fault. She's why my control is slipping. Why I can't shut up, even for a minute, even when I should.

"So you do love her?" Maybe. I don't need to say it to make it so.

"Love is a word people sling around when it's convenient. It's four letters, nothing more." I don't bother hiding my disgust of the word.

"What you say you feel for her isn't healthy." He shakes his head, looking away from me.

"Have you met me?" My lips curl into a vicious smile as he laughs.

I load what I need into my pockets, cigarettes, my lighter, a pocket knife. Isabella plays dirty, and even if she didn't have anything on her when she left, I'm not stupid enough to think she doesn't have anything on her now.

"Why did she run?" Emmett asks, breaking the tense silence in the room.

"I gave her no choice." I slip the gun into my waistband, securing it in place as I make my way toward the door. One step closer to Isabella.

"Because you were going to kill her." It's not a question. He knows I would.

"Yes." My answer is final.

This _Bella_, this woman, well she's different... broken.

Ashamed. Scared.

I close my eyes as the images of her smiling like a child inside the car try to consume me.

Very different.

"Everything I do is to protect her. I don't expect you or anyone else to understand that. What I do expect, is for you to either move the hell out of my way so I can go get her before she does something incredibly stupid,"

"I've got men on her that can bring her back." I can feel the anger in my eyes as I glare at him, and I take satisfaction in watching him flinch.

"Which I have no doubt she already has, or you can help me." .

"Fine. But I drive."

**3 more chapters? Are you ready?**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Ham and Satan deserve mad props for holding my hand and being the awesome ladies that they are. Seriously. **_

_**SM owns this. I own the psycho's thoughts. **_

_**Chapter 11**_

"And you're sure?" Emmett nods his head as we drive down a bumpy road a few miles outside of Garrett's property.

"How long ago?" He looks at the clock on the radio and back at the road. "Shit. Okay." He hisses before tossing his phone in the backseat.

"Well?" My impatience is showing and all I want to do is grab the phone and make my own calls, but Emmett is my only way of finding her. I'd risk almost anything in the world, but not her.

"We know where she is." He grips the steering wheel, but doesn't look at me.

"And?" I already know it's bad and a million scenarios run through my mind.

Isabella dead on the side of the road. Kidnapped. Beaten. Raped.

"You aren't gonna like it."

"There hasn't been a single thing about this I've liked yet." I watch his eyes flicker to me and I promise to break all his fingers slowly for making me wait.

"Charlie found her."

"What do you mean, found her?"

"He's been in Mexico for a little while. He thought this is where you might take her. We can stop him though. She'll be safe." We.

One word tells me everything. Explains every interaction.

How the fuck have I been so blind? I should have seen it.

"Fuck!" My fist connects with the dashboard over and over until it goes numb and all I can feel is my heart speeding in my chest.

_Thump thump thump thump. _Over and over. Faster and faster.

"Apparently Charlie and his men were getting close. Someone tipped them off." He explains as my eyes search the road.

"One of you?" Cracks slowly form in my mind as I think about his eyes on her. Questions form and answer themselves, and with each breath I can taste the bitter flavor of venom of truth.

"I don't know." He's tense. Too tense and I can see the guilt written all over him.

"And they're all there?"

"Just Charlie right now. We have men scouting the area, but they haven't seen anything yet."

"Yet." I repeat the word, letting it echo inside my head. Letting it warn me.

"We'll be there soon. We can get her." He gives me a cautious look.

_We_. It repeats over and over.

"How did she get so far?" I ask, knowing she had no money when she left. I made sure of that.

"She hitched a ride as far as they can tell. They think the guy was one of Charlie's, that's how he got to her."

I punch the dashboard again thinking of the risks she took and about a man I'll have to kill for the ride. If he didn't touch her, there is no way he didn't think about. That he isn't still thinking about it.

Charlie's friend or not.

"Do we need more backup?" Emmett asks, his foot pressing harder on the gas.

"Even I'm not stupid enough to go up against the FBI." I say, not wanting to waste my time with more casualties.

"You don't know, Garrett." I don't give a shit about Garrett.

"I just need a head start. Fifteen, twenty minutes maybe." I look down at my watch. Isabella hasn't been gone but a few hours, but she's smart.

No matter what trauma the mind has suffered, instinct is always there. Her work on my case shows hers is flawless.

We drive for an hour before we reach an abandoned warehouse. The night sky outside finally gives way to rain as Emmett pulls behind one of the buildings.

I breath in, breath out. My entire body is humming with excitement I haven't felt in ages.

"She's about a five minute walk from here. Any closer and Charlie would have made us."

"You seem to know a lot about him." I narrow my eyes at him. Something about all of this is off. I could tell if he was undercover, Carlisle wouldn't have let me walk into that.

It's something though. A fascination maybe. Either way it wasn't a good decision for him.

"I know a lot about a lot of people. It's my job."

I watch a hint of a smile crack his stone face, reach for my gun and listen for the click of the safety releasing.

"We have three men around the area at a close distance. Four more about five miles out keeping watch." He informs me, not bothering to pay attention to me.

"Good. Anything else?"

"I'll be within disarming distance at all times." Emmett opens his door just as I open mine.

"I've got Charlie." I lift my gun, kissing the barrell.

"Take these." He tosses me the keys and eases his door shut.

"Hey. Emmett?"

"Yeah?" He turns and I watch as lightning pierces the sky and begin the count in my head.

Thunder cracks. Light flashes in both our eyes.

"Thank you." And I mean it, just as a bullet enters his skull before he can blink.

It takes me less than a minute to hear Charlie's voice, and even less before I spot one of Emmett's men.

I stand back, watching the way his eyes travel up Isabella's body, letting it fuel the anger inside of me.

"Anything exciting happen yet?" I ask, turning away from Isabella and sliding the knife out from my inside my boot.

"I can see why that guy wanted us to make sure he got her back." He smiles, licking his lips and the anticipation is killing me.

"Oh?"

"White shirt in the rain? I mean look at her." And I let him, one last time before I move silently behind him.

"I'll let her know you said hi." The blade slices across his skin with more ease than I imagined, and his struggle as he tries to pull away is delicious. "I would have liked to play with you, but my time is short."

Any retort is drowned by blood loss as he tries to grab at his neck. His blood is mesmerizing as it seeps through his fingers. Dark crimson against stark white.

It's an amazing sight. Watching him try to save his own life as his blood leaves his body in waves.

"It's useless, you know. I just sharpened this," I wave the knife at him. "But good on you for trying. It shows real promise."

I let him fall and turn my eyes back to her.

Even from this distance I can make out the tears in her eyes. The jab in my chest at the sight of her makes me want to grab and shake her and ask her why.

Why she pushed me.

Why she ran away so easily.

Why she frustrates me so goddamn much.

And why, even now, can she be so fucking beautiful that it physically hurts to look at her?

I can't take my eyes off her, and I don't want to.

I never do.

The memory of the first time I saw her ravages me as I try to look away, forcing me to see her.

And I do. I watch her stand in the middle of the parking lot, rain drenching every inch of her. I watch her hands lift in the air as Charlie begs her to get into the car. I smile, proud, when she refuses him.

I see who she is, what I have. I see it and I know I could lose it, and I'll fight it, but not for reasons that she wants.

Because all I want is her.

"We just need to wait." Her voice snaps me out of my rambling thoughts as the rain begins to let up. She looks so pale under the lights of Charlie's car. So small. Fragile.

"I can protect you."

"No one can protect me but him." She laughs at her father as she spreads her fingers wide, watching as the rain runs through them.

"Bella what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?" He moves away from the car, and she stiffens, making me reach for my gun.

"I'm perfectly fine, daddy!" She sings out, but even I can see the wild look on her face.

"He did this. I knew he would. I knew it." Charlie shakes his head, the pain is written all over his sad smile as he watches her.

"He's taking care of me." Isabella begins tracing over her leg and I know it's one of the many scars I've left, one that she wears with pride.

The second he sees what she's doing his eyes go wide. "You call this taking care of you?"

"Don't you blame him." She pulls her rain soaked shirt over her legs and kneels into the rocks.

"Alright, I won't blame him." I smile knowing how hard that sentence was to swallow. "You need to get in the car so we can get you some help."

"No we have to wait." She looks to the side, her eyes landing on mine, but it's gone.

That look I've always longed for, the recognition, the need. She's gone.

"You have to listen to me." I hear him, but all I can do is stare at her and watch as my own world shatter before my eyes.

"Just wait." She whispers and my fist connects with a beam as she turns from me and back to him.

"You're strong, Bella. Be strong for me. Get in the car and let me help you." He tries again, stepping closer.

"He'll be here any minute."

"It's just gonna be you and me for little bit, okay? You'll see him again though." I let the knife fall from my hand, and swallow the bile in my throat as he moves closer.

He can't have her. Broken or not.

"I'll wait on Edward."

"We can do that in the car?"

"Then he can't see me. How is he supposed to know where I am? No. I'll wait right here."

"You aren't making any sense." Charlie rubs the back of his neck as she collapses on the wet gravel water.

"I hurt him. I didn't mean to hurt him, but that girl. GOD! You can't understand what it was like seeing her." She grabs a fist full of rocks and I know she's gripping them tight enough to draw blood.

"Let's talk about it in the car." He looks around and I know he's nervous. After all, I could be hiding anywhere.

"You don't get it! I fucked up."

"That's enough. Get in the damn car before you freeze to death." He commands and she stiffens.

"If you touch me, I'll kill you." I want to laugh at her words, but I can feel the truth behind them. When I see the gun in her hand, masked by the rocks beneath it, my eyes shoot wide.

She'd kill her own father for me. To be with me.

She'd do it for us.

"Jesus Christ, Isabella." I watch the rocks go flying, smacking him in the face, but he continues forward, not seeing the gun. Instead he grabs for her, digging his fingers into her arm and making her scream out in pain.

It's in that moment that all I see is red, all I feel is my body coiling, ready for attack.

For once I don't want to kill to keep her alive.

I want to slaughter.

**You ready? **

**Two more chapters left. Tomorrow I'll have another update so you won't have to wait too long! **

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	12. Chapter 12

**Any and ALL mistakes are mine. I added something like 1.5k to this.**

**Yeah I'm a little nuts with this right now LOL. **

**Thank you so much Satan and Ham, without you guys I'd be a bumbling mess on my floor pulling out my hair and crying. **

**Massive MASSIVE chapter ahead. **

**SM owns it. **

**Chapter 12 **

**Gods and Monsters**

"I see you started the family reunion without me." I step out of the shadows and into the rain, my boots slapping against the wet rocks below.

"Edward?" Isabella looks at me, but her eyes are still blank. Still lost.

It's like a punch to the gut, that look.

It tears me in two on the inside. Outside I wear a mask. Dark eyes, hard smile.

I wear it for us. As a warning. As a threat.

As protection.

"Hands off her, Charlie. I'd hate for your blood to color her face, wouldn't you?" I wink and he jumps back stumbling over his own feet. "Much better."

"You found me!" She smiles. The pain from his grip is gone, but I can still see the tears it caused.

Tears that should never have been there.

Tears he'll pay for.

"Bells, get away from him." Charlie's worn eyes never leave me as I watch rain fall on Isabella's hair, making it shine in the dim light surrounding us.

It makes her look innocent. Unmarked by me.

I hate it.

"No." She turns toward Charlie, gun in hand and he moves slowly toward his car. "Why would I do that?"

"What's wrong, Charlie? No hug for your son-in-law? Didn't you miss me?" I missed him. Sort of. I missed his way of explaining away my hunting trips.

I miss how he used to cover me, not knowing what was really happening.

"I could hug you with this, if you want." He takes a step behind the open door of his car, pulling his shotgun out and resting it on his shoulder.

All he's missing is his badge.

"Mine has more bullets." I lift the front of my shirt, and Isabella's eyes fall to my stomach, lust darkening her brown eyes. "We can sit here and compare dicks all night, but I'd rather take my wife and go home."

"I told you he'd come." She smiles at Charlie as she waves at me with the gun.

"You wanna give me that, baby?" I laugh despite the situation. Seeing her with a gun is sexy as hell. Knowing what she might do with it stirs a craving deep inside of me. One I've longed for.

One I'd like to explore with her.

"Don't you give that to him." Charlie warns her, but her face turns hard. "You give that to him and we're both dead."

"What is your problem? Leave him alone!" She points the gun at her dad and fires off a shot, hitting the window.

"Shit." I hiss and Charlie and I both duck as the glass spiders and falls to the ground. "How about you try _not _pissing her off?" I shake my head, wiping the gravel from my palms.

"I won't say another word about Edward." The disgust in his voice makes me laugh. "But Bella you gotta let me take you home." Charlie pleads with her, but she doesn't see her dad when she looks at him.

That blank stare she gave to me? Those sad broken eyes? They're for him as well.

"Isabella, look at me. Come here. Let me help you. Give me the gun before you hurt yourself." If she wasn't so unstable, so lost, I'd let her fire shots all night.

Right now she might very well take one at herself.

I'd die before I let that happen. He would too.

"No." Charlie glares at me as she turns away from him. "You can't help her. I won't let you."

"It's cute you think I'm asking." I take a cautious step closer to her, and so does he.

"You're hurting her, Edward. Look at her. Look at what you've put her through." He points at her sitting on the wet ground, her face white as a ghost as her lips tremble.

"Baby. Bella, come here. I need you to take my jacket. You're freezing." Just a few more feet, inches really, and I'll have her.

"Don't you take another step, or I'll put a bullet between your eyes." He threatens, and she lifts the gun to him.

I ignore him as I inch closer to her. To what's mine. To stop her.

"Baby?" I lean down and hold out one hand toward her, ignoring Charlie as he cocks his gun. "It's me, just come here. Hand me the gun. You don't want this." I do.

I want him dead. I want to bleed him dry and watch him suffer.

I can do it. I can live with myself afterwards. She can't.

Not like this.

"Edward. Don't hurt him. Please." Her features twists as she shakes her head. "Just don't hurt him."

"I'd never hurt him. He's my father too. Remember when he put your hand in mine on our wedding day? I just want you, baby." I show her my wedding ring, making her smile.

"Do you promise?" Tears spill over her lips as she asks. I want to wrap myself around her and make them stop.

"Edward don't do this to her." I can hear the pain in Charlie's voice as he moves closer. "Don't lie to her."

"You shut the fuck up." I lift my eyes, casting him a dark look that stop his footsteps.

I move closer. Close enough that I can feel her breath on me. Taste it.

"PROMISE ME!" Isabella screams, making us both jump, as the gun shakes in her hand.

"You can trust me." I smile, closer to her, so close I can touch her. And I do, brushing the wet hair off her forehead. "But I need you with me."

My chest swells and my heart pounds as my fingers connect with her skin.

The feeling makes me sick. Makes me shake.

"He's lying to you. I'll be dead before you ever take his hand. You know that." Charlie screams.

"You'd make her choose?" I laugh.

"Where's the choice? You're a serial killer and she's your biggest target. Hell yes if choosing means she gets to stay alive, then I'll force the choice. You can't have her." He's too close to her.

"She's mine." I growl, the possessiveness inside me boiling over as I look at him.

"Not this time." He grabs her by the arm, lifting her off the ground and my hand is on my gun, firing a shot into his car before he can pull her away from me.

I watch as her gun falls to the ground and I kick it away.

I don't want it in her hands. I don't want it near her.

"Edward stop!"

"Let her go." He's got his gun pointed at me, and mine is pointed at Isabella.

"Daddy, don't do this." She pleads through sobs, trying to jerk away from him.

His hand drops from her arm and she falls into my chest, burying her face into my shirt.

"Was that really so hard?" I wrap my arm around her chest, digging my fingers into her skin as I force her back a few steps with me.

"You think you've won?" His voice cracks as the gun in his hand falls to his side.

"I know I have." I wink, smirking at him as I run my hands through Isabella's hair.

"Just go back home, dad." She sags against me, but I know it's not in relief. She's scared, and not for herself.

"I can't leave you with him. You know I can't." If I didn't think I'd lose her forever, I'd kill him right where he stood.

"You have to." She pleads with him and I can feel her tears as they fall against my arm.

"Bells." He's warning her and pushing me. He's losing.

"Grab the cigarettes in my pocket, baby." Her father's voice is pissing me off and I need to think.

I need a plan.

"What?" She looks up, and the lack of love that once shone bright, hurts more than I imagined it would.

I need to get that look back in her eyes.

"My cigarettes." I growl into her ear, irritated and on edge. "Grab them and light one."

"So you're treating her like garbage now, too?" He spits as he watches his daughter's hand slip into my pocket.

"Thats it, right there." I kiss the side of her neck as Charlie lifts his gun to my face.

"She doesn't need to do that." He hisses, disgusted by my actions.

If only he knew just how much she was enjoying herself. How much I don't give a shit if he sees this or not.

"My hands are full at the moment. What was I supposed to do?" I smile up at him as Isabella lights my cigarette and places it in my waiting lips.

"You are a sick bastard."

"We haven't even gotten to the foreplay yet, Charlie." I chuckle, firing a shot into the air.

Grabbing a handful of her hair, I bring it to her neck, listening as the hot metal burns into her skin. Another scar. Another way of branding her so everyone knows she belongs to me.

He moves, quick this time, trying to take her from me. I'm quicker.

"I fucking dare you to, Charlie." I cock the gun right next to his precious daughter's ear. Her screams fill the stale air that surrounds us, bouncing off the rain and smacking each of us in the face as he stares me down.

"Don't you hurt her. Not again." He lays his shotgun down and takes a step back.

I smile to myself, knowing just how angry and out of control he's feeling.

"You think this hurts her?" I let her go, pushing her down onto her knees in front of me and place the gun between her eyes. "If you ever heard the nasty, dirty things that come out of her mouth." I wipe the rain from my lips with the back of my other hand as I look down at her.

Her eyes aren't filled with tears as she looks at me. They aren't filled with hate or anger.

It's love that stares back at me. It's wrong. Tainted.

Pathetic.

"I've never met anyone so smart yet so damn stupid, you know that?" I laugh as I lean down, running my thumb across her cold cheek.

"You made me," she mouths up at me and I want so badly to smack her with the butt of the gun and kiss away the blood.

"She needs help, Edward. You aren't making her better with this. Just let me take her." I raise my eyes to him and laugh.

"Do you think I don't know that?" I ask looking at her. Its written everywhere.

"I think you enjoy it."

"Do you know what happened to the last person who tried to take her from me?" My grip tightens on the gun, and I feel like I could crush it between my fingers as I think about him trying to hide her from me.

"You can run, Edward. Go wherever you planned, just let me have my daughter." He begs and I can feel the last strand of sanity slip away.

"His name was Jasper Whitlock. Such a fucking love sick coward." I chuckle remembering the way he looked at her, begging her to go with him. "Poor man took a bullet between his eyes for it, too."

"Edward don't." Isabella grits her teeth, spitting the words out at me.

She's there, but she isn't whole. Not yet.

"Are you admitting to a crime, Edward?" Charlie ignores her, glaring at me, and I can see the hope in his eyes.

"Sure. We can say that's what's happening." I scratch the scruff on my face, my eyes locked onto Isabella's. "We both know the truth though, don't we baby girl?"

"You piece of shit, asshole." She tries to stand up, but I lift the gun, leveling it at her father and stopping her in place.

"Who called daddy to help whom? How am I piece of shit? I've done everything for you. Protected you. Cleaned up after you. Not him." I shake my head, ready to lunge at her. "Me, Isabella!" I scream, venom lacing every word.

"She won't go down for it. If that's why you won't let me have her. I won't let that happen." He'd protect her with his life, but it isn't good enough.

Not this time.

"You'd never let your little girl go down for it, even though you know she pulled the trigger. Even though you know his blood is on _her _hands. Did you know she did it to protect me?" I sneer, as Isabella visibly flinches.

"Just give her to me." His pleading disgusts me, and his sad eyes only make me angrier.

"You need to go now, Charlie. The little moment we were having-" I wave the gun between us. "It's over now. I'm beginning to feel a lot less generous than before."

"Edward," He starts and I toss my cigarette to the ground.

"Would you like to say goodbye to your father, Isabella?" I grab her by the hair, forcing her to look at him.

"If you think for one goddamn minute..."

"Well, now who's being hateful with their words?" I cock my head to the side, giving my father-in-law a crooked smile.

"He's right." Isabella breaks the tension between us.

"Excuse me?"

"Let her talk." Charlie's eyes are filled with tears as he watches her.

"I can't go with you. Not after what I did."

"You had no idea what kind of a monster he was." He's grasping at straws. Thin short straws.

She absolutely knew.

"You're wrong." She shakes her head at him with a sad smile.

Charlie's eyes go wide and my smile lifts. "Finally." I take my hands off her and step back to enjoy the show.

"Oh, don't look so damn smug." She turns on me, her big brown eyes black against the rain.

"He's brainwashed you," Charlie accuses, but we both heard the conviction in her when she said he was wrong.

"Daddy, I swear I didn't mean for this to happen. You have to know I hate him, but I love him."

"How? How can you love... that?" Charlie asks, baffled and confused at her.

"That has a name, you know?" I laugh at Charlie's disgust.

"I love him. I can't explain it, I just do. He's my husband. I can't abandon him. I don't want to. I thought I did. I swore I did." I can hear the smile in her voice. "You have to leave. I can't lose you, but I can't go with you."

"I can't, Bella. I just... I can't do that. You're all I have left." He takes a step toward her and she takes one back.

"Please go. You shouldn't have come looking for me. I'm so sorry." She reaches her hand back, searching for mine, and I smile at Charlie as I lace our fingers.

"Come on Dad, can't you just let us be happy?" I give him a broad smile as Isabella's nails dig into my palm.

"No."

"I'd be very careful with your words right now," I warn as my fingers steady and my heart pounds.

I know who this man is. What he represents. What killing him would mean.

I know it, and yet all I can think is _fuck him_.

I can fix her. He can't.

And I wonder. And I plan.

"She's my daughter, Edward. Mine. I demand you give her back to me." Anger I never knew I could feel takes over my entire body, consuming it, flowing like blood in my veins.

Burning me. Fueling me.

"I. Don't. Share." I hear the the bullet leave the chamber. I smell the gunpowder and I see the flame from the tip of the barrel.

It's the look on Charlie's face that I commit to memory. The look of utter shock and sadness as his eyes sweep from me to Isabella as the bullet enters his chest.

A chest he didn't bother covering with kevlar.

He thought he was going to win. That she would choose him.

He was wrong.

"NO!" A sob cuts through the silence that follows the shot and Isabella shoves me to ground, scrambling for the gun.

I don't bother fighting her, instead, I let her take it.

Give her the power.

I want to see how far she's willing to go. How far gone she is. If I can push her further.

If I can bring her back.

"You didn't have to shoot him!" She collapses at Charlie's side, and the darkest part of me can't resist pushing her more.

"I had to do something to shut him up. Jesus Christ, has he always talked this much?" I don't even jump when she fires a round into the air and glares at me.

"Everything you touch... everything." She sobs into her father's chest, her fists pounding on his bleeding wound, and I'm mesmerized by it. Stuck in place, watching, and seeing for the first time how truly beautiful she is.

It's almost enough to bring me to my knees.

"You didn't really think I'd leave you anyone to run to did you?" I run a hand through my wet hair, relieved he's gone.

"I thought you'd give me this one thing." She cries as lightning cracks across the sky above us.

"You knew he'd come for us eventually, and you knew I wouldn't let him take you. Don't act so naive, Isabella." I light a cigarette as her fingers tremble over his chest, blood pouring out and covering her arms.

"That's your plan? Take everything from me until I break?" She glares at me over her shoulder.

"You've been broken a long time. I was trying to bring you back." I step closer, hovering over her.

"Fuck you!" She jumps up, slapping me hard and I let her, relishing the sting of pain left behind.

"You're beautiful when you're angry." I grab her by the neck, crushing my lips to mine.

"How the hell do you think I got that way?" Her laugh is unhinged as she pushes off me. "Did you think I did this on my own?"

"I think you need to stop blaming everyone for you problems." I rub my chin, watching the anger grow in her eyes.

I hold onto that look.

"I thought we were forever, that I'd found everything the moment I laid eyes on you. That my heart was going to explode the first time you touched me. I swore we were what poets wrote about, that undying love, that need you could never fulfill no matter how many times you touched. I can never touch you enough." Her smile is watery as she traces my lips.

"Then never stop." I kiss her fingers.

"And then you touched another." My stomach drops.

"Bella." For the first time ever my voice catches and I lose my breath.

"I wish I could kill you." I don't like her calm, or the sad smile when she looks at me.

"I wish you could too, baby." And I do.

"I just wanted you to love me, Edward." A tear rolls down her cheek and I flinch when she brushes one away from my own.

"I'll never regret what I did." I tell her, because I don't. I can't regret keeping her alive.

"I know." She whispers, her eyes still lost to me. Still so far away.

"Because you love me." It's why she held on for so long. Why she waited for me. Why she accepts me.

It's why now, standing so close to her, touching her, I know I'm losing the only thing I ever really had.

Her.

"And you can't say it back." I blink at her. Frozen.

Maybe I could once. I can't now. It won't bring her back. It won't cure her.

Instead, I take her shaking hands in my own. Our eyes connect just as they did the first night we made love, and I feel it. I feel her love, her hurt, the broken girl I destroyed.

I feel the cold end of a barrel against the wet skin of my forehead.

It's there. The desire. The hate.

I gave it to her. Those feelings. The ingredients to lose herself.

To hate me.

"Shoot me." I can see her finger tremble on the trigger out of the corner of my eye. "You shoot me, Isabella or so help me-"

"So help you what? SO HELP YOU WHAT EDWARD?" She digs the barrel harder into my skin and I smile as tears roll down my face, mixing with the rain.

"I'll kill you." It was always the plan. An uncontrollable battle I would lose one day.

"Promises, promises, Edward." I hear the gun cock.

She'll shoot me. I see it in her eyes. She'll kill me and then herself. And she'll do it with a smile, exactly as I would.

I want to let her, let her take it all away.

"I told you once before I could never lose you." I close my eyes, hoping she'll pull the trigger before I can.

"What?" She blinks and I do the only thing I can to save us.

**You guys have no idea how much I want to throw up right now. I'm so nervous about this chapter it's making me sick. Physically freaking ill. **

**Are you guys ready for the epilogue? Cause I'm not. **

**Nope. Not even a little bit. **


	13. Chapter 13

**SM owns it. **

_**Everytime I close my eyes**_

_**It's like a dark paradise**_

_**No one compares to you**_

_**I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side**_

**Gods and Monsters **

I take her hands, pulling her fingers away one by one.

I let the cold steel of the gun become my burden.

_My_ sacrifice.

She doesn't resist.

Doesn't move.

She stares at me and my heart's in my throat.

Pounding.

Begging.

Demanding.

"Forgive me?"

Two words.

Two lives.

Two bullets.

I close my eyes and kiss her lips over and over as our tears mix and fall as one.

"Forgive me?" My forehead against hers, my heart scrambling to find a beat.

It's all or nothing.

Now or never.

Lose her forever or keep her always.

"Forgive me?" I open my eyes, green reflecting in her brown as she looks at me, lost and broken.

Two sides of the same coin.

A perfect match.

One soul.

"You and me." I promise her with a tear stained smile. "I can't live without you. You know that right?"

She stares, tears streaming, heart racing.

One more kiss. One last taste.

It's everything and nothing.

Beautiful torture.

"Forgive me?" I lift my hand, slow and steady.

I pull the trigger as she squeezes my hand.

I scream. Louder and harder because she knew. She squeezed my hand, my fingers.

She knew and she let me.

She punished me.

"You crazy bitch!" A laugh bubbles in my chest as life leaves her eyes. Taking mine with it.

Brown becomes black. Life becomes death.

The shot echoes in my head.

The smell of gunpowder burns my nose. The flame from the tip of the barrel burns my eyes and the sound of a bullet entering her skull breaks my heart.

Shatters it. Destroying any ounce of humanity I have left. Destroying me.

And I don't care. I don't want it. Not without her.

We both lost.

I let the gun swing on my finger and I fall to ground with her, cradling her head in my lap.

My fingers trace lines on her face. Committing every inch to memory.

Cherishing her.

Doing what I should have done years ago.

Meaning it.

"There's a hole in my chest. Always has been. I filled it with you. With your smile, with those big brown eyes of yours. Every kiss you gave me only made it bigger." I brush my fingers over her eyes, closing them, not wanting to see her death.

Not like this.

"You loved me through everything. I hated you for just as long." I take her pale face in my hands, kissing her pink lips. "I hated you, Isabella. Hated you for making me want you. Hated you for being so fucking beautiful. For sneaking into my head and my heart."

I laugh as I lift the gun, eyeing it as it shines in the rain. Looking at my hand, covered in blood, too steady for the act I've just committed.

"And now?" I look up at the sky. "Now I know pain. Emptiness. Loss. To lose the one thing that made you feel the world. To end it."

I wipe the blood from her cheek, kissing her over and over.

"I killed to protect you. To save your life. I killed for one more minute with you. For a lifetime of minutes." I lift her, bringing her to my chest, wishing she could consume a heart too broken for words.

"In the end it was you. Always you. You played my game, and you beat me." I kiss her blood stained temple, tasting what I've done and I wait.

I sit in silence with her in my arms, her face on my chest, my hands wrapped in hers.

I watch the lightning as it paints the sky in light and I cry.

I cry into her hair. I kiss every finger. Her ring.

I smile.

"Remember what I told you? The day before we got married? Nothing can tear us apart? That I'd follow you anywhere?"

I lay us down in the wet gravel, putting her arm across my stomach, her head on my chest and I watch the rain fall on us.

"You looked up at the stars and you kissed me. You told me as long as we had each other. As long as I never left you."

I run my fingers through her hair, kissing the top of her head as I press the gun to my temple. I scar myself the way I've scarred her.

I smile at how steady my hand is. How ready my heart is, and how easy the trigger gives.

"I love you."

And I follow her.

_**THE END**_

**Thank you. **

**To everyone of you. Ham, Satan, every reader, every reviewer. All of you. **

**You took a chance on me and my story and words can not fully form to show you my appreciation. You are all amazing and I love you. **


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